A note from the author: Welcome to the Study Guide for Chapter 1. We all have a Chapter 1 in our lives that reflects where we are now—the starting point. This Chapter 1 is tragic and yours may be as well. But there are many chapters ahead filled with God’s stories and promises to us. I am so excited that you are joining us as we discover God’s pathway to healing. ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Bad Things Do Happen to Good People

There is one fact in life that no one can deny: Bad things do happen to good people. It has been happening since the first two sibling lived on planet earth, and it continues to this day. The weapons of our day may be different from the one Cain used to kill his brother, Abel, but the result was the same—death. It happened in broad daylight, big screen, technicolor, and as always, with devastating results. The aftermath for the first two parents on earth would have been unimaginable. It would have likely taken them years to recover. How could this horrific tragedy have occurred in the first five pages of the Bible? Let’s read Genesis 4:1-16.

In those Bible verses, did you see any clues as to what may have caused this tragedy? If so, list them here:

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If you spotted jealousy, self-pity and anger, you saw the same things I saw. I am sure there are more, but let’s focus on these three. Do you know of any situations (family, friends, or co-workers) where any of these three factors exist? Because our current culture is very different than it was thousands of years ago, today we can add things like drug abuse and social media influence to the list of probable causes. If you know of others, list them here:

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2.  The Elephant in the Room

Perhaps the hardest of all topics to discuss openly is mental illness. I did some research on that topic to include in my book, but was discouraged by my first editor. Apparently, many authors have already addressed it. However, I am including some of what I wrote in the paragraph below.

The most common solution for mental patients in the 1940s was to place the individual in a mental institution; therefore, my uncle was taken to a state mental facility in Abilene, Texas. Conditions inside mental facilities in general were not widely known by the public until the 1970s. Geraldo Rivera, an investigative reporter for WABC-TV in New York, secretly found a way to go behind the walls of the Willowbrook State School for the developmentally disabled on Staten Island. His report, which aired in 1972, told of “a host of deplorable conditions, including overcrowding, inadequate sanitary facilities, and physical and sexual abuse of residents by members of the school’s staff.” He reported the ratio of one worker per fifty patients in some cases, and no provisions to separate those with uncontrolled seizures from those with mental illness. The horror stories that emerged from Rivera’s documentary forever changed the way Americans would view mental health institutions. There is no intent to associate what Rivera found at Willowbrook with the facility in Abilene, Texas. It is included simply to point out that little had been done in that era to meet the needs of mentally-challenged patients. It seems ironic today, over 50 years since Rivera’s documentary on mental illness, that little progress has been made to properly diagnosis, treat, and provide for the vast array of needs for these patients. Real solutions seem to elude us.

Is it any wonder that family members do not want to place a loved one in an institution, that is, if any institutions remain after our government began closing them down in the 1980s? Today, many of these individuals are living among the homeless population on the streets of our cities across America.

Do you know someone personally who deals with a mentally-challenged family member? _______ If so, are you aware of the huge challenge to provide safe and manageable care for their loved one? _________ Do you know of solutions that might benefit other families? If so, list them here: _________________________________________________________________

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I personally view this problem as our problem as Christians and as a Christian nation. We can’t just be the land of the free and the home of the brave. We have been blessed because we care for the least among us. Mental illness should concern us all, as it is symptomatic of a deeper need within our society. Each school shooting, co-worker assault, and church or business that is turned into a killing field is our problem. If we could adopt that inclusive mindset, perhaps God will help us find some solutions.

3.  Weighty Words

In my book, I quoted my grandmother’s words about her son: “I’d rather be dead than lock him away somewhere.” Not long after she spoke those weighty words—almost prophetically—my family endured a tragedy with devastating results. Weighty means heavy, substantial, or bulky—basically, they are difficult to handle. Can you or someone you know relate to my grandmother’s mindset? _________

Every family that experiences a tragedy will face excruciating pain. There is no way around it. They will eventually discover that the very core of their being has been wounded. I chose the subtitle for my book, God’s Pathway to Healing for Deeply Wounded Souls, because it is something that I personally experienced. The only genuine pathway to healing for deeply wounded people is the one that God offers. He knows us like no one else know us, and He loves us unconditionally. He is the Great Physician and can perfectly heal our wounds. This subject will be discussed at length in future chapters.

Do you or someone you know have a deeply wounded soul due to a tragedy?  __________ Do you believe God has provided a pathway to healing for every wounded person? _______Why or why not?

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4.  Memories That Hurt

I have a vivid memory of the middle-of-the-night ambulance ride from my home to the hospital 25 miles away when my husband suffered a stroke. We had been fighting his cancer for nearly two years, and this was just one more thing to check off the list of awful things that would eventually happen to him. The doctors had told us what to expect, so you might think I was prepared—but not so.

I felt numb inside as I sat in silence in the front of the ambulance. I stared out the window at the red and white flashing lights bouncing off the tree tops. It seemed as though our whole lives raced through my mind as I began to process that the end was near for my husband’s earthly life. He slipped from our lives three weeks later. Yet, the nightmare for me was just beginning.

How about you? Do you have a memory that hurts? While mine is now over 20 years old, I still remember it clearly. Perhaps your memory is fresh and your pain unbearable. We will discuss that pain in Chapter 9, but know that God has never left you alone to deal with your pain. Make a note of your similar memory below and we will refer back to it later.

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5.  Cause and Effect Syndrome

Why is it that we humans always want someone to blame for our troubles? Is it so we can have an object on which to unleash our pain? Our anger? It is much harder to simply accept that God allowed this to happen. The basic Christian belief is that He is a God of love and truly loves me; therefore, He would not have allowed this to happen to me. So apparently someone else caused it. Right? Just let me scream at the guilty party, and my pain will go away! Can you relate to any of those feelings? __________ Briefly describe that situation?

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However, in many cases there is often no one to blame. We simply (pardon my overuse of the word simply, since there’s nothing simple about any of this) have to find our way through the maze of emotions while believing God can still be trusted. So much of the pain we deal with in loss is doubting God’s love for us. Recovery requires walking by faith in His goodness and not walking away from Him.

Running from God is never a good idea. When my current husband went through the loss of his first wife to cancer, he struggled with this very thing. At one point he thought he might just walk away from God. That is, until the Lord spoke to him and said, “Let me know how that works out for you.” He vividly recalls the Lord bringing to his mind the story in John 6:68 where Jesus asked the twelve disciples if they were going to leave him also. Peter answered, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You alone have the words of eternal life.” Have you had times in your life when you felt like walking away from God? If so, when?

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What did you do—stay or walk away? __________________________

God is always the right place for us to turn to, reach for, call upon, and trust in. He cannot and will not fail to comfort His children. We will learn much about His pathway to healing for our wounded souls in future chapters.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, it is comforting to think that You already know about my circumstances, my struggles, and my deepest wounds. It is possible that I am guilty of blaming others for my pain. I definitely have memories that hurt. I have even tried to run away from it all, including you. Yet, I am still wounded and I need your help. Thank you for finding me right where I am. I ask you show me the pathway to healing. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

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