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Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy, Christian Growth, Encouragement

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 9 ~ THE WOUNDS

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A note from the author:  If you need a breakthrough in your life that can set you free, this study guide is for YOU! I can personally testify that what you read here can change your life, the path you are on, and the direction you are going! If you are suffering from tragedy and loss, these words will bring refreshment and healing to your wounded soul. What have you got to lose except your pain—why not give it a try? ~ Sarah Jane

1. How Jesus Deals with Our Wounds

The wounds that stay with us long after a significant life event are simply what I call “leftovers.” While leftovers from dinner may be desirable, the leftovers from close-up and personal tragic events are not. No way! But like all leftovers, we eventually have to deal with them.

My favorite Bible story about how Jesus treats a wounded person is found in Luke Chapter 10:30-37. Let’s go there.

30 Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. 31 “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. 32 A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.

33 “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. 34 Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. 35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’

36 “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked. 37 The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

In my book, There Is Life after Tragedy, on pages 76 & 77, I explained this story like this: I asked the readers to see Jesus as the Good Samaritan and themselves as the wounded person. That is a powerful way to personalize this story about Jesus and His care for us. In the following exercise, we will identify all of the things Jesus did for the wounded person—YOU.

As you read each of the sentences below, write your name in every blank.

1) Jesus saw _________________.

2) Jesus had compassion for __________________.

3) Jesus went to ____________________.

4) Jesus poured oil on ________________’s wounds.

5) Jesus bandaged ________________’s wounds.

6) Jesus carried ___________________ to a place of safety to recover.

7) In that place of restoration, Jesus was ______________’s caregiver.

8) Then, Jesus made arrangements for ______________’s short-term care by paying someone to provide the care.

9) Next, Jesus paid in advance for ________________’s long term care and promised to cover all future expenses.

WOW! How much more could Jesus have done to ensure that the wounded person recovered, or that you and I recover from our wounds? Nothing more, because His promises are as good as His actions. He cares deeply about healing our wounds.

2.  Why the Wounds?

In my book, I tackled why we have to suffer in life. Unless we have an extremely healthy family, we will all have to deal with the hardships that come with death and disease. And unless we ourselves die at a very early age, we will all have to bury a loved one. As hard as it is to believe, even as a Christian, suffering and death become a normal part of life.

In Chapter 9 of my book, I included a poetic writing that I wrote during my husband’s two-year battle with cancer. It was titled “Why the Wounds?” and is found on Pages 78 and 79. If the title suggests that God has good reason for our suffering, it’s because He does. I ended the poem with these words: “For out of the anguish of the soul, revelation is birthed.”

I’m sure you are thinking, “What does that mean? I thought God was a good God.” I’ll try to explain. In order for us to grow up and mature in this Christian life we are going to encounter pain, wounds, hard circumstances, loss, and yes, more pain. But each of those have a “silver-lining” tucked inside of it. It may take years of growth before we recognize what the “School of Hard Knocks” is all about, but we will eventually come out on the other side of our trials and realize that we have indeed grown. We now see more, know more, and love more than we did before, because revelation was birthed in us!

In the Chapter 1 Study Guide, Section 4, we recorded a “memory that still hurts.” Look back at Chapter 1 to find what you wrote down. Is it possible that your memory had a silver-living you didn’t see then; but later you realized that something better happened because of it? If you didn’t write down anything in Chapter 1, recall at least one event in your life that caused pain, yet later resulted in great value to your life. It could be as simple as not getting a job that you applied for, but instead, God led you to a better one. Briefly describe your experience.

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A baby doesn’t enter the world without pain to itself and also to its mother. Yet, painful births (i.e. trials; circumstances; changes) are something very valuable to us. But we must not forget to look for those eye-opening moments that make a huge deposit into our lives. However, if we stay locked in self-pity and angry at God, we will miss the revelation He intended for us to receive.

3. Climbing Higher in God

If we can accept that God uses our pain to bring about change in our lives, then our part is to be receptive to what He is doing in us. That brings us to this thought-provoking question: “Have I ever used my pain to climb to a higher place in God?” My answer has been “Yes” many times, because I learned over time to trust God with my suffering, my losses, and my pain. I bet you have too.

A higher place in God simply means we are now in a better position to see what is happening around us. In other words, we get a better view from up there! The response of saying, “God, I’m content right where I am,” doesn’t work out well. God has a passionate heart of love for each of His children, and His eternal goal is to shape us into the image of His Son, Jesus. In fact, refusal to cooperate with the Creator of your life, will only cause Him to pursue you relentlessly until you yield to His shaping. This will become clear as we read Hebrews Chapter 12:5-6a.

5 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. 6 For the Lord disciplines those he loves….”

Do you have a story of God’s careful shaping of your life as His beloved child that brought you to a higher place of understanding and blessing? If so, write it below.

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4.  Identify Theft ~ How Can We Prevent It?

One of Satan’s greatest tricks against us when we are wounded is to separate us from our true identity in Christ. He tries to convince us that God doesn’t love us or this wouldn’t have happened. Or he uses the age-old condemnation trick of telling us that we are hopeless, useless, and actually lost from God. If he can get a foothold into our lives, be assured that he will steal our true identity, kill us by drowning us in grief, and destroy any proof that we are a child of God. Did you get that? The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy! (John 10:10)

Satan did that to me and I spent months drowning in sorrow and self-pity. And then one day, I got mad at that thief and started fighting back. I wrote down all the positive things that I am—my true identify in Christ Jesus! And then I read it to the devil himself. As my faith began to rise up on the inside of me, I took back my identity and my life! And you can too! Below describes who I am when I am holding the Hand of God. (Pages 82–83 in There Is Life after Tragedy)

HOLDING THE HAND OF GOD

The road may be rocky, but I’ll not stumble. Fiery darts may be hurdled, but they’ll not penetrate my life. Storm clouds may darken the sky, but I’ll come out on the other side. The whole world may look hopeless, but it is not my home. For I shall run and not be weary; I shall walk and not faint, while holding the hand of God.

Therefore, my hope is sure. My light is shining. My way is bright. My heart is steady. My faith is strong. My peace is unexplainable. And my world is safe, while holding the hand of God.

My will is surrendered. My motives are pure. My vision is clear. My mind is set. My purpose is determined. My goal is reachable. And my agenda is His agenda, while holding the hand of God.

My strength is renewed. My wisdom is from above. My thoughts are just. My words are full of grace. My meditations are acceptable. My song is filled with praise. And my only desire is to please Him, while holding the hand of God.

Dear One, my heart hurts for you. I know what it feels like to have the world spinning around you, and you desperately need for it to stop. But you now know that God cares about you, and you have powerful scriptures that tell you He loves you, He cares about your wounds, and the enemy cannot have your identity. So, encourage yourself, and claim a breakthrough right now in Jesus’s powerful name, and He will hear and answer you!

Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, only you know the deep wounds in my life and how desperately I need your help. I believe the scriptures that I read above, and I want to be healed from all of my brokenness. I call out to you to heal me, and today I reclaim my identity: I am a Child of God! I am yours and you are mine. Thank you for loving me and answering my prayer. In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy, Christian Growth, Encouragement

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 8 ~ THE PURPOSE

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A note from the author:  If there is one study guide that has the potential to reach into your broken heart and bring healing to your life—it is this one. Please read it closely and intently. Please watch the special video section. I am praying for you to find the answers you have long sought after. This could be your day for wholeness! ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Can There Be Purpose in Tragedy?

Finding purpose is perhaps the hardest thing to handle after a tragedy. We would likely think: What purpose could this tragedy possibly have? Obviously, there is no good thing anywhere to be found here.

Yet, we know that absolutely nothing misses the eyes of God. He is the only One who can see over the horizon and know where this event can stir the hearts of people. His greatest goal is always to get the attention of the lost among us—the eternally lost members of mankind.

Those who have been closely impacted by a tragedy will struggle to see any good from it whatsoever. However, God’s Word tells us what was meant for evil, He can use for good. In this lesson we will take a close-up look at the tragic story of young Joseph and see what we can learn about God’s ability to use tragedy for good. This concept is sure to stretch us—but that’s okay. God is always stretching us to make us more like Jesus.

2. The Tragic Story of Joseph

The story of Joseph, son of Jacob, grandson of Issac, and great grandson of Abraham, is told in Genesis Chapters 37 through 50. It is a story of jealousy, revenge and evil, but also a story of kindness, forgiveness, and love. Joseph was the favorite of the twelve sons of Jacob. His father loved him very much, and all the others knew it. To make things worse, Joseph began having spiritual dreams about who he would someday be, yet bragging to his brothers didn’t work out so well. In hatred and spite, they wanted to kill him; but one brother talked them into sparing his life and selling him to slave traders.

Young Joseph found himself in the land of Egypt as a slave, far away from his beloved-child status. Yet, everything he touched worked in his favor—until one day it didn’t. Still, Joseph never forgot His God. He landed in prison for many years because of false accusations against him. Yet, regardless of Joseph’s living conditions, God never changed His plan to use him for a big assignment—to save the known world from famine. The very dreams Joseph had been given as a young lad eventually became reality. Joseph was made the Prime Minister of Egypt, where he oversaw a seven-year plan to store up food for a seven-year famine.

The tragedy of Joseph’s life included being separated from his beloved father and only full-blood brother, Benjamin, and living the life of a slave. After he was thrown in prison, he likely thought his life was doomed. One would think that everything optimistic about Joseph’s future had been thwarted. But God always has another plan even when it seems that the great enemy of our soul has won.

After the death of Joseph’s father, his brothers feared that Joseph would take revenge on them and their families. That is where we will pick up the story in Genesis Chapter 50:15-21 in the New Living Translation.

15 But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said. 16 So they sent this message to Joseph: “Before your father died, he instructed us 17 to say to you: ‘Please forgive your brothers for the great wrong they did to you—for their sin in treating you so cruelly.’ So we, the servants of the God of your father, beg you to forgive our sin.” When Joseph received the message, he broke down and wept. 18 Then his brothers came and threw themselves down before Joseph. “Look, we are your slaves!” they said. 19 But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. 21 No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So, he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.

Did you notice how Joseph described his life that had certainly gone amuck? Did you hear any resentment or revenge in his response to his guilty brothers? Did you hear any words of bitterness in his assessment of the lemons in life that he had been handed? You’ve probably heard the statement about lemons: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

What did Joseph do with his lemons?

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What do you think his brothers deserved?

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3. Finding Purpose in Hard Things

I do not intend to make light of tragedy in any way, because there’s nothing light about it. The tragedies in Joseph’s life could have caused years of hatred for his brothers; an incessant desire to get revenge; and a permanent root of bitterness. Let’s also remember that because of Joseph’s high position in Egypt, he had the power to have all of his brothers executed. But that is not what Joseph did.

Joseph took the exact opposite route in dealing with his lemons: he looked to God. He recognized that God had good intentions for all of the intense training he encountered as a slave. He literally said, “He (God) brought me to this position.” Lastly, Joseph added purpose to his pain and suffering: “So I could save the lives of many people.”

Do you think that Joseph was just another superhero in the Bible, or do you think all of God’s chosen ones have the same opportunity to make the choices that Joseph made? Explain your answer.

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Finding purpose in a tragedy is difficult to say the least, but it is doable. Yet, it won’t come to us unless we have this one thing: a change in perspective. Having a change in perspective basically depends on how we process what happens to us. For instance, it isn’t uncommon for a person to accept a victim mentality about their life’s lemons. They truly see themselves as a victim.

It’s somewhat like Eeyore in the Winnie the Pooh stories. Eeyore was an old grey stuffed donkey who was down about everything—the weather, the seasons, the neighbors, and even his friends. His pessimistic, gloomy disposition showed up in every conversation he had. And if we are not careful, we can have the same perspective about life as Eeyore had.

But I have good news for every one of us—be it those who survived tragedy or those who are simply disillusioned with life. God did not do any of the things that caused your tragedy or your unfortunate circumstances. God is good all the time, and we can take that to the bank. In fact, if God is good all the time, then bad things that happen to us cannot be a result of God being not good. That’s impossible! Yet, the enemy of our souls continually thinks up bad things to do to us, just like Joseph’s brothers did.

Fortunately, in God’s Word we find out what is really happening to us, as well as what we can do about it. Let’s look at 1 Peter 5:8-9 NLT ~ “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.”

Did you get that? You are not the only one suffering at the hands of the enemy! And there is something you can do about it. We are to stand firm, be strong, and use our faith! God’s Word is energized by the power of the Holy Spirit and when we claim it for ourselves and walk in it, we can have the same overcoming perspective as Joseph had. He moved from being a victim to being a powerful witness for the goodness of God!

My paraphrased version of Joseph’s perspective goes like this: “It’s okay what you guys did to me. You meant it for evil, but hey, God had a greater purpose for my life. He used your ill-treatment to train me and prepare me for the 2nd highest job in the known world, in order to save the lives of many people!” Read that again.

4.  Special Video Section:

Dear ones, if you can grasp the power available to you through God’s Word and His great love for you, you can start to see your tragedy in a whole new light. Below is a link to a five-minute video by Joyce Meyer, that is one of the greatest testimonies of a modern-day application of God’s power that I have ever heard.

I have read about and watched Joyce’s testimony about being sexually abused by her father repeatedly as a child and a teenager. Yet this particular video takes us beyond her pain and opens to us the mighty work of restoration that God performed in her life. I include it not only as hope for those who have suffered at the hands of another person, but also for those who have thought God handed them lemons and they are stuck with them. But God didn’t do it, and we are never stuck with what the devil intended for evil. Be sure to watch it to the end. The following link can be clicked on or copied into your browser.

Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, you and you alone know the deepest hurts in my heart. I have suffered for many years and feared that I can never be free from this pain. But today, I see a light at the end of the tunnel that I have never seen before. For the first time, I have hope that you see me and love me, and you have a plan to restore my life. I ask you to do just that—today. Send me the person or people that can help me start toward the new pain-free future that you have planned for me. I thank you now for this powerful new truth in my life. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy, Encouragement

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 7 ~ THE SURVIVORS

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A note from the author: Few people realize what is waiting for them days, weeks, months, and even years after a loss. It’s strange how others attend the funeral and then quickly move on with their lives. That is not the case for close family members. To survive they need fresh air, fresh surroundings, and certainly, fresh hope. So, let’s tackle loss and loneliness with some fresh ideas. ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Defining A Survivor: What does that look like?

“A person alive after an event in which others have died,” is how the Oxford Dictionary defines a survivor. The word alive is quite an optimistic description of a person who feels so much not alive after a tragic event. It is true when someone we love dies, our emotions can range from total numbness to having no desire to live, or perhaps even considering suicide. I think rather than using the word alive, the person could better be defined as “someone still breathing,” and even that is a bit of a stretch.

The word aloneness brings its own mixed bag of emotions as well. Survivors often crave to be alone; yet in attempting to live again, they find themselves alone much of the time. That is where God’s promise to never leave us or forsake us is a powerful antidote to the rejection one feels who has survived, even though they may wish they hadn’t. Antidote means a cure, a remedy, or a solution. Isn’t that we are searching for—a way to break the grief and sorrow off our lives? How would you describe what needs to be broken off your own life—the thing for which you most need an antidote? (This doesn’t have to be about the loss of a loved one.)

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2. We Are Not Alone In Our Grief

For our scripture reading, we are going to start with a story found in the book of Ruth, a small four-chapter book sandwiched between Judges and 1 Samuel. Let’s begin with Ruth 1:1-5.

Ruth 1:1 ~ In the days when the judges ruled in Israel, a severe famine came upon the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah left his home and went to live in the country of Moab, taking his wife and two sons with him. 2 The man’s name was Elimelech, and his wife was Naomi. Their two sons were Mahlon and Kilion…. And when they reached Moab, they settled there. 3 Then Elimelech died, and Naomi was left with her two sons. 4 The two sons married Moabite women. One married a woman named Orpah, and the other a woman named Ruth. But about ten years later, 5 both Mahlon and Kilion died. This left Naomi alone, without her two sons or her husband.

For starters, do you see why Naomi might feel “not alive” and “alone?” How does one lose their entire family in just five short verses? Certainly, Naomi had a full license to grieve, feel sorry for herself, and have no desire to live. But a child of God is never without hope. God always has a plan and Noami’s story will prove that to us.

The full story is contained within the four chapters of the book of Ruth, and it is well worth reading. However, I am going to point out a few choice verses that helps us gain an understanding of the pain and grief that gripped Naomi’s heart.

Ruth 1:6-13 ~ Then Naomi heard in Moab that the Lord had blessed his people in Judah by giving them good crops again. So Naomi and her daughters-in-law got ready to leave Moab to return to her homeland…. 8 But on the way, Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back to your mothers’ homes….9 May the Lord bless you with the security of another marriage”.…13 Things are far more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord himself has raised his fist against me.”

Orpah takes Naomi’s advice and returns to her family back in Moab. But Ruth commits to going on to Judah to be Naomi’s family and serve Naomi’s God.

Ruth 1:19-21~ So the two of them continued on their journey. When they came to Bethlehem, the entire town was excited by their arrival. “Is it really Naomi?” the women asked. 20 “Don’t call me Naomi,” she responded. “Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. 21 I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty. Why call me Naomi when the Lord has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me?”

Is it just me, or do you hear hopelessness in Naomi’s words? What else do you hear?

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I truly feel her grief and believe that she is burdened down with it. Could we safely say that Naomi needs an antidote? __________

As you finish reading this beautiful story of Naomi and Ruth, you will discover that God absolutely had an antidote awaiting Naomi in her homeland. God’s plan included a family-redeemer or kinsman-redeemer named Boaz who buys the land owned by Naomi’s husband from her. Along with redeeming the land, he was required to marry Ruth. Naomi soon has a grandson, Obed, sitting on her lap that she cared for as her own. He grew up to become the father of Jesse, who was the father of King David. In short, Naomi’s grandson was in the royal lineage of Jesus. I think it is safe to say that Naomi was indeed a survivor!

3. What To Do When God Goes Silent

The devastation that occurred in Naomi’s life may have been told in five short verses of scripture, but her story played out in real time as years upon years of sadness, sorrow and lack of hope. Perhaps our trials in life will never be anything like what Naomi endured, but we will have our share because Jesus Himself told us clearly, “In this world you will have tribulation.”

For me personally, I struggle the most when it seems as though God goes silent and I am left to handle things by faith and trust alone (as if those two aren’t mighty weapons in our arsenal). I suppose that we all prefer for God to hold our hand, put His arm around our shoulder and say, “Come to me and I’ll fix all of this for you.” But that is not how it works in this world. Faith and trust are great companions, yet they don’t always include the warm fuzzy feelings we’d like to have.

If you are a fan of the Devotional Book “Jesus Calling,” by Sarah Young, you are well acquainted with reading words that are written as though God Himself said them. I want to use that same “first person” approach with the following paragraph. My goal is that you can hear what God would say directly to you about feelings.

“My Child, feelings come and go. They are subject to good days and bad days, sunshine and rain, life and death, wealth and poverty. Yet, My Word is not subject to anything. My Word will stand forever and you can trust it throughout all eternity. So don’t try to tie me down to responding to your feelings. I respond to those who know My name, hear My voice, and trust that I will do what I say I will do. Feelings are not a part of the walking-by-faith process. Trust must always be your response, even to My silence. We can work together with that combination: My trustworthiness and your trust in Me.” ~ God

I hope that this paragraph spoke clearly to your heart, because there are powerful truths within it. Feelings, especially good ones, have their place; yet they are never a good measuring stick for how God deals with His children.

4. Becoming A Survivor Is Always a Choice

The most helpful thing we can do for someone struggling to survive the aftermath of tragedy (including yourself) is to give them hope. We must all have hope, even in small things. Hope that the sun will come up tomorrow. Hope that this too will pass. Hope that God cares about me. God’s Word is full of hope and we can share it in tender, loving ways. We can all encourage one another with hope.

God doesn’t call all of us to be counselors, but He does call all of us to be encouragers. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “So encourage each other and build each other up….” Being an encourager is our role in the lives of our brothers and sisters in Christ. We can also encourage ourselves, which will be covered in Chapter 9.

Giving hope and encouragement doesn’t have to be expensive, because in reality, what hurting and lonely people need most is love, friendship, and compassion. Understanding someone’s condition of loss and loneliness is the greatest gift you can ever give to them. And, remember to give yourself some compassion, too!

List some of the ways we can bring hope and encouragement to each other. While prayer is certainly a good answer, let’s try to think outside the box of our ordinary ideas. Remember, God has a reputation of goodness. Psalm 23:6 says, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life….” What might you pull out of God’s storehouse of good things to give to a lost and lonely soul? Who knows, your fresh idea might trigger an antidote for their life!

A few examples are listed here, but add your own thoughts and ideas to the list.

1) Take a depressed friend for a day out, or order lunch for the two of you and take it to their home to share it together.

2) Invite a lonely friend to share in your own family’s holiday celebration. They may not come, but at least they will have felt included.

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Whatever you do, do it with the love of Jesus as your source. You can’t go wrong when you listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit and include Him in your plans.

If you are the person who is hurting or lonely, encouraging another hurting or lonely friend can be the best therapy you could ask for. Try it, and see what the Holy Spirit does in YOU. And when you give hope and encouragement to others, you take being a survivor to a whole new level!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I am so thankful that you care deeply about me and my needs, as well as all hurting people everywhere. I want to be a survivor, and today I choose to be a survivor. I want to be an encourager to others, and I ask your Holy Spirit to guide me as I develop a plan to reach out and help someone else. In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 6 ~ THE AFTERMATH

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A note from the author: I have spent the past five posts preparing us for the hard stuff—how to deal with the effects of tragedy. There is no easy path, no cut-and-dried process, and no set-in-stone way to deal with it. Yet, for the child of God, there is God’s way to face the devastating events in life. In this guide we will attempt to unpack God’s truths for us. Let’s do it! ~ Sarah Jane

1.  What Does Aftermath Mean Anyway?

Up until this one, the previous lessons have flowed easily from my heart. I did not have to search for ideas, content, or questions that brought rhyme and reason to the topic to be discussed. They were just there—right on the tips of my fingers as I typed. So why is this chapter different? Could it be because none of us want to talk about painful things?

In my book, There Is Life after Tragedy, I started Chapter 6 with the following words: “Aftermath seems like an ugly word to me….” If you have suffered a great loss of life, you know exactly why aftermath is an ugly word. For those who have endured one or more deaths at the same time, the ugliness is multiplied many times over. Tragedy can exponentially increase the pain and heartbreak as the reality of the loss soaks into our hearts and minds. In short, it is indeed ugly.

Do you know any other descriptive words that clearly depict aftermath?

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Although aftermath is ugly, it is also normal and necessary. We will all have to deal with aftermath someday, even for the loss of a loved one who dies of old age. Why? Because loss of life always forces us to face the “What’s next for me?” question. The many changes and challenges that lie ahead make up a large portion of the aftermath. What used to be is no longer. Who used to be with us is not here anymore. In fact, for many people, everything changes.

On page 46 of my book, I listed fifteen unpleasant things that humans have to deal with that create an aftermath in our lives. Things such as death, accidents, divorce, coronavirus, etc. However, I have come to realize that the list is not a complete list, and I’m not sure there is a complete list. Perhaps that is why the last line of my list says: “after, after, after….”

What gut-wrenching life events could you add to my list?

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The Oxford Dictionary defines aftermath as “consequences of a significant unpleasant event.” While we may not classify all losses as tragic, we must understand that tragedy comes in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes we have to clean up a mess someone else made, and sometimes we have to clean up our own mess. Regardless, we all need one thing in order to survive the aftermath—God!

2.  We Are Never Alone

God never expects His children to go through any part of life by ourselves. We always have His Presence with us. We always have His Peace inside us. We always have His Grace covering us. If we have asked Jesus to save us and send the Holy Spirit to come and live in our hearts, then He did both of those things. The truth is that we are truly never alone! Our challenge is to learn how to tap into that Source that indwells all believers.

To get over this mountain called aftermath, we simply must lean on God’s promises to get us there. He means what He says, and we can trust what He says in the darkest hours of life. If He fails us there, how can we trust Him with our eternal destiny? It is a rock-solid, iron-clad truth that God’s Word never fails!

What can you do right now to get that one issue settled in your heart and mind once and for all?

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For our scripture reading for this lesson, I want us to look at Isaiah 43:1-3a. I have included it below from the New Living Translation.

1 But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.

2 When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

3 For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

If we read Isaiah’s life story, we would realize that he had firsthand knowledge about deep waters, rivers of difficulty, and the fires of oppression. He was certainly validated to write about such hard things. His words of comfort to us in these verses are encouraging to say the least. The truth is that Isaiah knew these statements by experience because he had trusted in God for survival and God did not fail him.

Have you ever had a situation in your life when you trusted in God and then experienced His divine help where you were not afraid, not alone, didn’t drown, or were not consumed by your trials? Those kinds of experiences are truly a hallmark of our faith in a Faithful God. Briefly list one or more those experiences below.

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3. What’s So Amazing About Grace?

Obviously, I believe that God’s grace is amazing since I donated over two full pages to that subject in my book. Actually, grace is a big deal. Without it we would all be in big trouble—in this world and in eternity. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.”

Grace is a gift God has chosen to give to His children. We cannot earn it, buy it, steal it, borrow it, or con God out of it. All we can do is ask for it, believe He says “yes” to our prayers, receive it by faith, and testify to what He has given to us. In real terms, God gives us grace because He wants to.

When it comes to receiving God’s help to survive an aftermath, our greatest ally is grace. It is freely supplied to those who ask Him for it. You may be thinking—but how do we receive this grace; how do we make it ours? The answer is clear: we receive grace exactly the same way we got saved—by faith! We will receive grace through faith, making faith the vehicle by which grace becomes a reality in our lives.

We’ve already settled the fact that God cannot lie. Since God is incapable of breaking a promise, then any disconnect must be on our end. When we think He is silent, think again. God doesn’t have to use words—His presence, peace, grace, and love all speak volumes to our hurting souls. So, in those times when it seems as though God is silent, we must use our faith to stir our faith!

But how do we use our faith to stir our faith? It’s basically quite simple. If you are a born-again believer is Jesus Christ, you only got there one way—by faith, as discussed above in Ephesians 2:8-9. Read this next sentence very carefully: you already have faith inside of you. It just needs to be activated once again—stirred up, if you will. You don’t need to start asking God for something you already have. We simply recall or bring to our remembrance the times He has blessed us, answered our prayers, and showed up just in time. Our trust in Him is what God responds to—not begging! Tell Him you trust Him, and mean it. Practice doing what you did at least once in your life. Then practice it again, and watch Him smile down some grace on you, along with hope, comfort and strength in your dark moments. It is true—grace is amazing!

Think of a current issue that is difficult for you to manage. Why not ask God for His amazing grace to help you get through this time? Briefly identify it here, and later come back and record what God did for you.

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Record follow up here:

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If you have never asked Jesus to forgive you for your sins and give you eternal life, why not ask Him right now? He is always ready and willing to answer that prayer, and He will come into your heart and save you. Next, share your decision with another Christian. You can also leave me a comment in the comment section, and I will respond to you.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I am learning just how much I need you, and that you are more than willing to help me through the difficult times. I am grateful for your faithfulness and no matter how hard life looks, I am never alone and your amazing grace is always available to me. With every trial that comes my way, my faith is growing and getting stronger. I long to trust you more. Help me remember to ask for your help, believe I will receive it, and give you thanks in everything. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen. 

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 5 ~ THE GRANDPARENTS I NEVER KNEW

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A note from the author: This Study Guide digs even deeper into who we are and why it’s important to know where we came from. Our roots matter. We will also learn what God said about passing down our beliefs and values to the next generation. Most importantly, I hope you are inspired to ask your family members what only they can tell you—before it’s too late. ~ Sarah Jane 

1.  Why We Need to Know “Our People”

I have known several families that adopted children. In every case, there came a time in that adopted child’s life that he or she desired to find his or her birth parents. Their stories are often exciting, heart-warming, and result in great relationships for the remainder of their lives—but not always. Some searches do not turn out good at all, and actually leave the child wishing they had never tried to connect.

Regardless of how it turns out, there is something within us as human beings that causes us to need or want to know where we came from. Maybe it is part of our DNA that God put inside us that initiates a deep need for belonging. As I began to unpack my family’s 70-year-old tragedy, I hadn’t thought about what I would learn beyond the shock and the pain of it all. But God had a golden nugget tucked inside my efforts to learn the true story about the grandparents I never knew.

I was impressed with how my first cousins, all in their eighties, remembered so many little things about our shared grandparents. There were precious details that I never dreamed I would hear with my own ears. If I had not decided to ask the questions, my grandparents would have remained unknown strangers to me. Yet, because of my cousins’ willingness to tell me what they knew, I believe I will know my grandparents when I get to heaven.

In the information gathering process, I came to believe that it is up to us—all of us—to keep the memories of our people alive. After all, isn’t that what we want the next generation to do—remember us and tell their children about us as well? How about you—do you want to be remembered by your kids, grandkids, and even those born after you are gone? __________Why or why not?

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2.  The Benefits of Knowing Our Roots

I believe we can know ourselves better if we know where we came from. Isn’t knowing ourselves perhaps our greatest need, other than knowing God? Have you ever asked a family member this question, “Why am I like this? ”__________ If so, what did you learn by asking?

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One of the first things doctors do when we become their patient is to ask a lot of questions about us and our family—be it our primary care physician, our specialists, or mental health providers. And why do they do this? Because our family history is of great benefit to them in knowing what to look for and treat.

The same principles apply when we’re asked questions like: What do we want to be when we grow up? Do we plan to go to college and where? Do we attend church and if so, where? Why do we live in the city, or why do we prefer the wide-open spaces? Simple facts about us and our family tells others who we are. On a lighter note, families often drive the same make of vehicles. My family was clearly a Ford Family, and all of us knew it and passed down that tradition.

Can you think of things that your clan exhibits from generation to generation? List them here.

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Our scripture selection for this lesson is Deuteronomy 11:18-21. Here we find God talking to the children of Israel as they were on the brink of entering the Promised Land. He gave them clear instructions about how they were to obey His commands and how they were to teach their children those very same commands.

18 “Therefore, you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 20 And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, 21 that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.”

What did you see or hear in those scriptures that was new to you?

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One thing we can see in these verses is that God’s words of instruction were not only for themselves, but they were also for their children. Additionally, we can also see that the benefits were not only for themselves, but they were also for their children. If you look closely at families you know, you will likely see the same behaviors and beliefs in their children as they themselves have and live by. This is not by chance, but it is by God’s design.

However, there are benefits in knowing our roots, whether our family is good or not-so-good. If yours is a good family, then all is well and the values can be passed down to the next generations. But if your family is not-so-good, and your eyes are opened to see it, you can decide to reach for a better way of life. Your generation can be the beginning of a new way to live with a new set of values. Sure, it will be hard and perhaps at times seem impossible, but it is true nonetheless.

Have you or someone you know made a choice to live a better lifestyle than the one you/they grew up with? If so, were you/they successful? Explain.

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3.  Sharing Memories Can Be Healthy

It is no surprise to any of us that television, technology, computers, and social media have greatly damaged family life. A quick Google search brought up this statistic:

“Family therapist Anne Fishel says only about 30% of families regularly eat dinner together, despite family meal time being hugely beneficial for kids.”

As a result, families are not talking to each other! I clearly remember my family sitting around the dinner table and discussing the events of the day. It was the same with my children and my grandchildren—and we all look forward to mealtime. Good food and good conversation are the highlight of our visits together.

The basic reason to study the Bible is to learn God’s plan for us in eternity—and not just eternity, but right here on earth. It tells us how to find peace of mind and soul in a relationship with Him, but also ways to interact with our family, friends, neighbors, or co-workers. The Bible, is the place to learn how to treat those He places in our lives. Every person is a valuable human being because God created each one of us, and every person has a reason for being on earth. Therefore, every person has a story to tell. To prove that sentence, ask yourself, “Do I have a story to tell?” __________ Would I like to share it with a family member that cares to hear it? ___________ Write a brief summary about that story below.

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As a mental exercise, think about members of your family, who are already gone from this life, that you wish you knew more about. Is it a possibility that some of your aunts, uncles, or cousins know the story of that person and would be willing to share it with you? ___________ Are you courageous enough to ask? ___________

I think it is sad when great people who lived great lives are never honored for what they have done except at their funeral. You and I are currently watching “the greatest generation on earth” die right before our eyes. There isn’t a lot of time left to capture stories from those brave men and women who fought in WWII. Here are the statistics in 2024:

16 million Americans served in WWII; only 119,000 of them are still living today; and they are dying at a staggering rate of 131 per day.

Do you know someone who has a heroic or a great story to tell that you would love to hear? __________Who? _________________________________

What prevents you from asking them?

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What are some words you could use to start that conversation—maybe things you think would interest them, or encourage them, or bless them? A good example could be something like “What was school like when you were a kid?” Or “What was your first job?” Others may be more personal, such as “Would you share your faith story with me?” Or “How did you meet Grandma/Grandpa?” There are dozens of topics most older people like to talk about. List your ideas here:

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If you were to write your own story someday, I hope you won’t have a chapter like mine: The Grandparents I Never Knew. I didn’t have a choice, but you possibly do. I believe there are many amazing men and women in each of our lives who would be overjoyed to share their stories. So, what if we turn off the TV, close the laptop, put down our phones, and focus on where we are and who we are with? We might just make someone’s day. I promise, you’ll cherish that time. You can thank me later.

Prayer:  Heavenly Father, I am grateful for the earthly family that you placed me in, even if it isn’t as good as I’d like for it to be. We are still your offspring and have a purpose for being on earth. With your help, I believe I can reach for a better lifestyle than the one I am living now. Knowing my family roots and traditions are important so I can know which ones to keep and which ones to replace. Help me learn from your Word how to walk with you and then teach that to my children. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 4 ~ THE FAMILY I KNEW

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A note from the author: This Study Guide will take us to new places we may have never thought about going. We will likely learn new things about ourselves, but even more about our family. We all have one; and whether we like them or not, we are like them in many ways. You will also find some ideas on how to mend the fences with your people. So, let’s get going! ~Sarah Jane

1.  Who Are Our People?

We all have what we call our people, our tribe, or our clan. The most common term is simply our relatives, for those with whom we are biologically related. We also know this group of human beings as kinfolks, because we are kin by blood. We share many things with these individuals—mainly, but certainly not limited to, the blood that runs through our veins. We also share genetics, physical features, good or not-so-good looks, and temperaments. Oh, but it goes even further than that—there are talents such as being able to sing, dance or play an instrument that can be traced back to our kinfolks. Equally true, the qualities of high intelligence or exceptional athletic capabilities also run in families. Further still, we often hold the same religious views, political views, and societal views.

Whether we like our kinfolks or not, we are like them in many ways. There were several things I discovered about my family during the data gathering process for my book that I did not know beforehand. I did not know that almost every member of my dad’s family played a musical instrument. All I knew was that I loved music with every fiber of my being. I guess I thought everybody loved music as much as I did—after all, what’s not to love about music?

Is there something about YOU (a trait, skill or desire) that you wonder where in the world it came from? __________ Describe it below.

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I must ask: Have you looked around at your kinfolks? __________________________________________________________________

2.  Childhood Memories

Childhood memories are something we all have. I have wonderful memories as a child growing up around my people, and I cherish them even more today now that I’ve written about them. But good or bad, our memories are what they are. If yours are not so good, I encourage you to face them with courage. You can’t change your memories, but by addressing them, you may see some things differently now that you are an adult.

Without disclosing any facts about your hurtful memories, make a note here of a memory you possibly need to face.

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Some people keep bad memories suppressed for years. That is generally not a good idea as it can eventually lead to mental anguish that pushes individuals to carry out revenge on family members, co-workers, and even innocent people. I recommend getting professional help, be it through a counselor, pastor, or friend. Life is too short not to live it to the fullest. God wants His children to live in total freedom from our sin, our past, and our bad memories. Let’s look at two chain-breaking statements Jesus made while He was on earth.

John 8:32 “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Jesus deeply cares about our freedom. He knows that truth has inherent qualities when brought into the light of His love that can bring freedom to our lives. It is knowledge of the truth that breaks off our chains. Listening to and believing lies does the exact opposite.

John 8:36 “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

Here Jesus heralds Himself as the Master over bondages, chains, addictions, lies, deceit, half-truths or any other life-suffocating obstacles. And He announces that if He sets us free from any of those relentless monsters, we will truly be free!

Rewrite these two scriptures and insert the pronouns I and me in the place of you.

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3.  Strained Relationships ~ What Can We Do?

For more than four decades, I have been friends with a family of five daughters. I have watched them live in close proximity to one another and their parents. Not once have I known of a dispute among any of them, nor one bad word spoken about another. They live life together, and some have worked together. They share the responsibility of taking care of elderly parents and do it well. They truly earn a five-star rating in my mind, and they are greatly admired as a family by anyone who knows them. But unfortunately, they are not the norm. It isn’t uncommon to have issues with our people. So, what can we do about our strained relationships?

While some bad behaviors are intentional, a large part of family issues are caused by misunderstandings. The enemy of our souls continually spins and spreads half-truths. If not dealt with, these misunderstandings can change a molehill into a mountain. The longer they are allowed to go unchecked, the bigger the issue becomes. It is often necessary to “eat crow” to get some issues resolved; yet I believe in most cases our people are worth the effort to restore the relationship.

If you think your family’s issues are over-the-top, think again. Let’s look at several examples of family issues from the Bible to see if they were all perfect people with perfect relationships.

Cain and Abel, sons of Adam and Eve and the first two siblings on earth: Cain was jealous of Abel, so he killed him. Not so good, huh? (Genesis 4:1-8)

Isaac and Ishmael, the half-brothers of Abraham: Descendants of both of these men claim they are from the son of promise that God gave to Abraham. This battle still rages today in the Middle East. (Genesis 15:1-8; Chapters 16; 17; and 21:1-21)

Jacob and Esau, the twin brothers of Isaac and Rebecca: Jacob, the younger brother, stole his older brother’s birthright. That is a really big deal in Jewish families. (Genesis 25:19-34)

Joseph and his 11 brothers, the sons of Jacob: The brothers were jealous of Joseph because he was their father’s favorite, so they sold him into slavery. The twelve sons of Jacob were born to four different mothers. Want to talk about a challenge? (Genesis 37:1-36)

These examples are from just the first book of the Bible! But in case you thought your family situation is the absolute worst, these stories should help put things into perspective. Dysfunctional families have been around since the get-go!

4.  How Do We Move Toward Reconciliation?

Sections A through D below are good ideas that could help you resolve some issues with family members. They are certainly not to replace professional help, but rather to provide some simple keys that work for many people. The actual keys are underlined.

A.  The first key is that you must desire to fix things with your family member(s). You will have to make the first move—through prayer and self-reflection. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to fix this?” Record your reasons below.

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B.  If you truly want to reconcile, the next two keys are: forgiveness is essential, and accusations (blame) must stop. Determine in your heart now if you can do these two things. What role does forgiveness play here? What about blame?

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C.  Be willing to meet them half-way. In so doing, you are accepting that part of the problem could be you. Why is this step important?

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D.  Move forward with caution, respect, kindness, and love. Simple kindness may be the most effective key you use. Remember that love never fails—and it will not fail you or fail them. Which of these four words can you see yourself using? __________________________________________________________________

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E.  Everybody has a perspective and it could be different than yours. Everyone is important to God and is one of His offspring. Every person is worthy of mercy and grace, since Jesus died for all of us. Why must we extend mercy and grace to those who don’t deserve it?

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These simple steps are not a fix-all by any means, but what if God restores a relationship that has been broken for half a lifetime? Believe now that “He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think!” (Ephesians 3:20)

Please understand that the good ideas and simple keys above are presented as possible solutions for typical and ordinary misunderstandings and behaviors in families. They are not offered as a solution for every offense, especially in the case of harmful actions like sexual abuse. Reconciliation may not be possible in some cases, and those kinds of offenses need and deserve professional counseling.

I have covered many thoughts and ideas to help you deal with your family matters. I pray in the coming days that the Holy Spirit will speak to your heart which ones can help you find healing, health, and wholeness in everything family!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that my childhood memories are certainly not like a fairytale. In fact, there are some issues with my kinfolks that I would like to reconcile. I have no idea how it will be received, but thank you for bringing me to this point of acknowledgement. Oh God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot fix, the courage to fix the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.1 Please help me to honor You in whatever I do with this new insight. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

1 The Serenity Prayer, modified by author

Easter, Holidays, Reflections

A SIMPLE EASTER

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My longtime friend and photographer, Mark Rouk, created this picture a few years ago. It is my all-time favorite Easter picture. I’m guessing he used some simple things like a mound of sand, a few twigs, a drop or two of superglue, a black cloth, and a flashlight. Regardless of what he used beyond his own amazing creativity doesn’t matter—it is the message that his simple silhouette speaks to us.

Defining Easter can be huge or minuscule, depending on your audience. If one is writing a dissertation, it could get deep and complicated really quick. But if it is telling a child what Easter is about, a simpler definition will work. Basically, Jesus loves us so much that He died on a cross for our sins. Enough said, huh? Sometimes a simple Easter is in order for our crazy-busy lives.

I am beyond the age of having kids and even grandkids young enough to hunt Easter eggs. Those were simple days—wonderful days with priceless memories. We dressed our children in the best Easter apparel we could afford—matching shirts and slacks, frocks and frills, shoes, hats and Easter baskets. After the Easter Sunday Morning Church Service, we all made our way to Gramps and Granny Kellogg’s house for lunch. Our sweet Granny Grace’s Easter egg hunts are forever lodged in our hearts. But before the hunt could take place, we gathered in the kitchen where every inch of countertop, the cooktop and the kitchen table were filled with dishes of delicious food. Everyone ate their fill with joy and laughter—while holding off the kids as long as possible to give the teenagers time to hide the eggs. Then the race was on!

I suspect your past Easter Sundays were much like mine. It seems as though they were a lifetime ago. Yet today, I hear my Lord speak priceless words to my heart: “Sarah Jane, slow down and have a simple Easter this year.” I don’t know about you, but I’m in need of a more-simple lifestyle altogether. See if you can relate.

I need to manage my intake of frightening news from around the world—and my best guess is to simply turn it off. I need to worry less about all the corruption in our nation, and simply focus on the good. I need to care less about just the right clothes, shoes and purse, and simply be content with what I have. I need to stop fretting about all the high prices (and God knows they are everywhere), and simply settle for less going, less buying, and less eating. I need to spend less time on frivolous and unnecessary things, and simply do more things that make my Lord, my family, and my friends smile.

I’m sure you’ve heard the K.I.S.S. principle—Keep it simple, S______.” The Lord just gave me the idea to insert the word “Sweetie” as the fourth word in that phrase. So, here’s my advice for a wonderful Easter this year: “Keep it simple, Sweetie!”

A HAPPY AND BLESSED EASTER TO ALL! ~ Sarah Jane

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 3 ~ THE HISTORY

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A note from the author: The lesson for Chapter 3 may seem a bit off-target since it focuses on things that happened long ago—better known as history. You may ask, why do I care? Or why should I care? But you will soon discover that our history is very much a part of who we are today. So, dive in and see where God takes you! ~Sarah Jane

1.  History Matters to Us

In my book, There Is Life after Tragedy, I described history like this: “I like to think of history as looking in a rearview mirror. You’re not going that way, but it does give you a small glimpse of where you’ve been.” History matters to us—or at least it should. Yet, I know there are many who would rather not know their family history just because it feels tainted or spoiled, and you’re thinking why not just leave that stone unturned. That may well be an accurate description, but it also may not be. The truth is that you will never know for certain unless you try to unpack your own history. Only you can make that decision.  

Just in case you think you might like to take a peek at what’s out there about your family, there are some things you may want to consider. It is sad but true that many of us seem not to care about our history until it is too late. Oft times family members leave us way to early, and we are left with a thousand questions we intended to ask them someday. I’ve seen it happen many times. So, take my advice—since it’s free—and get your courage up and ask them now. In this lesson, I will give you some ideas on how to go about it, some dos and don’ts, and as always, some valuable treasures to look for in the process.

Do you have one or more older family members whose life or memory is slipping away? ________ If so, list them below:

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2.  History Matters to God

One good reason for gathering our history is because history matters to God. You may ask why does it matter to Him, and how do I know that it does? As usual, the best resource we have about our God and His ways are His written Word. We’re going to start by looking at the Index in our Bible. As I point out various things about the Old and New Testaments, look down the list of books and locate what I have mentioned.

At the beginning of the Bible, we encounter the first five books that are accredited to Moses as the author. While some theologians question the bases of this accreditation, it has never been proven one way or the other. One commentary said that Moses was more of a recorder than an author; but regardless, God told someone in His family to write down what happened in the beginning. And aren’t we glad He did?

Many books in the Old Testament are named after the author, such as Joshua, Samuel, Nehemiah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Habakkuk. The point is that someone close up and personal to these stories had an inner leading to write down the events.

The New Testament books were mostly named after the authors as well, except for some that were named after the recipients of the letters written to them. For example, Romans, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, and Philippians are what the people were called who lived in the cities of Rome, Corinth, Galatia, Ephesus, and Philippi. Lastly, we are so incredibly blessed to have four authors recording the life of Jesus—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. WOW! Different authors, different viewpoints, and different reasons for writing—all things that matter to us as readers.

Several books of the Bible are categorized as prophecy—something to be unveiled at a later time. For instance, in Daniel 12:4 NLT we read these words: “But you, Daniel, keep this prophecy a secret; seal up the book until the time of the end, when many will rush here and there, and knowledge will increase.” Because much of Daniel’s book applies to the times you and I are living in, we can know what was on God’s heart thousands of years ago about us and our day.

In the Book of Revelation, we find an interesting fact about how the person assigned to record something carried out his assignment.

Revelation 1:1-2 NLT “This is a Revelation from Jesus Christ, which God gave him concerning the events that will happen soon. An angel was sent to God’s servant John so that John could share the revelation with God’s other servants. John faithfully reported the word of God and the testimony of Jesus Christ—everything he saw.”

Did you notice the part that basically said, “so that John could share it with others?” God has His servants write things down so His other servants—and that would be us—can read them, too! Clearly, history matters to God.

3.  Make Yourself a Plan

A.  If you want to capture your family’s history, developing a plan would be a wise place to start. Ask yourself what you want to know, why you want to know it, and who might be the best person to ask about it. Be aware that much of your ancestry data may have already been gathered by another family member simply because websites like Ancestory.com have made it easier to do. So, ask questions before you start. You can tap into their findings if you sign up for the same app they used, but the monthly fee eventually gets expensive.

Do you know if a family member has already gathered data on a site like Ancestory.com? _______ If not, who might know?

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B.  Dos and Don’ts: Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you build your plan. When you determine who you would like to interview about your family’s story, pray about it first, and then ask God to give you wisdom and courage to move forward. As you attempt to unpack the story, always be kind, sensitive, and thoughtful because these memories could bring pain to that person. Since I already knew to be careful in gathering information about my family’s tragedy, I continually watched for signs that I was going too far, stepping over the line, or asking pointed questions. I mostly let it flow naturally, and did it ever flow!

C.  One of the questions my cousins had for me was: “What are you going to do with this information?” I was upfront and honest. I told them I planned to post it on my blog and perhaps publish a book. Throughout the process, I kept my cousins informed at every stage of writing, proofreading and publishing. They were allowed to make changes or clarify things I had written. In short, we walked through it together.

4.  Finding Treasures in the Process

One of my fondest memories was an interview with my great aunt, Ruth Bode, two days before her 100th birthday. Ruth was a sister-in-law to my grandfather (who was killed in the tragedy), and she was the last living person of their generation. You will read about this interview in Chapter 5. It holds a special place in my heart as a priceless treasure gleaned from the process of gathering information.

Although this entire chapter is historical, it still made a huge mark on my life. The quote by Priscilla Shirer at the end of Chapter 3 (page 24), spells out our responsibility to the younger generation: “The patterns you set will form a pathway that others will walk.”

To get an idea how someone might feel about being interviewed, let’s fast forward several years and think about the fact that you are now the person sitting in a rocking chair with a throw draped across your lap. Then a young whipper-snapper niece or nephew comes up to you, pulls up a chair, and wants to pick your brain about the past. How would you handle that?

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Do you feel certain things deserve to remain private?

Yes or No ______________

Why do you feel that way?

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Do you think the younger generations have a right to know what you know? ___________ Why or why not?

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These kinds of encounters can turn out good or not-so-good. However, they can also yield treasures that we didn’t know were there. If we use wisdom, we might develop a new relationship with a family member we never dreamed possible. Who knows, they might even change our mind about some mis-information we were told years ago. Whatever we do, we should work towards a positive outcome for everyone involved. And that will honor God.

The best advice I have to give is to use discretion and a great deal of respect for those you want to interview. In reality, they are not obligated to tell you what they know; therefore, be grateful for their willingness to share anything at all. Otherwise, you may come away from the interview with a blank piece of paper. Just saying.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I am grateful for those you spoke to thousands of years ago to record their stories so that my generation can read and learn from them. Help me capture my own family’s history, if it hasn’t already been done, so I can pass it down to my children and grandchildren. I want to always be sensitive to your leading and have the courage to talk to family members. I desire to honor you in how I do this. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen. 

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 2 ~ THE GATHERING

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A note from the author: You do know that God is always moving us forward in life and in knowing Him—right? It’s a wonderful journey, especially when we anticipate the powerful Holy Spirit working in us. This lesson is packed full of good things—the very things you have been looking for. So, let’s get started! ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Finding a Place of Freedom

To give us a point of reference for this chapter, think about a family secret, situation, or controversy in your own family that has never been discussed in a gathering of family members. But now it is being addressed. Can you for a moment sense the strain on everyone attending? In my book I called it, “opening a can of worms that no one wanted to open.”

Have you ever been a part of such a gathering? ______________

When: __________________________________________________________

Record below what was the subject of your meeting?

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Perhaps because I was the youngest cousin in the group and I had called the meeting, it felt as though the air was so thick I could slice it with a knife. I was so nervous that I forgot to locate the outline I had carefully prepared to guide me through the meeting. So, I had to wing it. Yet, what happened next was nothing short of a miracle.

If I have one favorite sentence in my entire book, it is the one located at the bottom of Page 15: “It seemed as though a dam had broken and pent-up water gushed forth across a newly opened pathway.”

God was there and He never left. It was God Himself who created that pathway for these cousins to open up their hearts and allow their seventy-year-old pain to find its way to freedom. Let’s be honest: How many of us need for God to show us a pathway to freedom for our pain? Aren’t our tired and weary hearts ready for relief from this heavy load? Answer this question as honestly as possible: Are you now willing to face your pain?  Circle one: I am willing or I am not willing.

2.  How We Cope with Our Pain

When it comes to pain, we humans have a vast array of ways that we cope with it. Here are just some examples.

A. Some people hold on to their pain because they fear letting go of the pain means they didn’t love their lost loved one as much. This approach is very real and active in the lives of many people. Do you know people who have taken this approach to their pain?

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B. I have come across people who actually say, “I don’t want to get over this pain, so thank you very much, but I’ll just keep it!” Do you know someone who may not admit this out loud, but their actions seem to support this approach?

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C. There are people who have lost a loved one, or lost arms, legs, eyes, etc. in an accident, or are diagnosed with a debilitating disease, and they refuse to let go of their pain because they believe that suffering is their lot in life. Do you know anyone like this and how does it make you feel when you are around them?

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I am certain there are more approaches to pain than the three mentioned above. Yet the truth of the matter as stated in the Chapter 1 Study Guide is this: God has a pathway for all sufferers to find freedom from their pain.

Freedom from the pain in our wounded and broken hearts can belong to us, but we will likely have to give up something in order to gain that freedom. Here are a few things we might have to turn loose of, but see if you can add others to the list:

1) An unhealthy mindset

2) False teaching

3) Lack of knowledge about God

4) Self-pity

5) ______________________________________________________________

6) ______________________________________________________________

7) ______________________________________________________________

8) ______________________________________________________________

3.  Discovering God’s Pathway to Freedom

Our focus scripture for this lesson is one of the greatest, most powerful, and best loved passages in the entire Bible. Let’s read Luke 4:16-21.

16 So He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up. And as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read. 17 And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah. And when He had opened the book, He found the place where it was written:

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,

Because He has anointed Me

To preach the gospel to the poor;

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,

To proclaim liberty to the captives

And recovery of sight to the blind,

To set at liberty those who are oppressed;

19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.”

20 Then He closed the book, and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all who were in the synagogue were fixed on Him. 21 And He began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Here we find Jesus at the very onset of His ministry going to the synagogue in His own hometown—Nazareth. He introduced Himself to the audience as being the Messiah and then spelled out for them precisely what He came to earth to do. Can’t you just hear Him declaring to them: “It is done! It has already been accomplished! Today! Now! You don’t have to wait any longer!”

WOW! What mighty and powerful words from the ONE who cannot lie!

4.  Are Jesus’ Words True or Not?

Unquestionably there were people in the synagogue the day Jesus announced that He was the Messiah who had doubts about what He said. After all, many of them had known Him for His entire life, including His own brothers and sisters. I’m certain it was shocking news to most everyone. Only time would tell if what He said was true, but Jesus didn’t doubt for one second. He knew exactly who He was and what He could do. Yet in time, each person in that audience would have to decide for themselves if they believed His words or not.  

Now let’s think about all the different scenarios we discussed back in Section 2 above—people dealing with all sorts of situations, untold consequences, unhealthy reactions, devastating accidents and losses of life and love. And if we look closer at the words of Jesus, we will discover that every person, all of them, can be found in Luke 4, Verse 18! Read that verse again. They are all there. They are all covered. There is not one person that is left without a pathway to freedom from their pain! Hallelujah!

What happens with each person grieving a loss of life or love today is exactly like each person listening to Jesus that day in the synagogue. Their outcome depends on whether or not they believe Jesus is who He said He is and that He can do what He said He can do. What about you? Do you believe Him?

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If you are not sure what you believe about Jesus, just answer “I don’t know” and then write any questions you may have about Him here:

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For those who believe, it will be a glorious day when they are set free from their pain to return to life, love, and wholeness again! That is God’s good plan for each of us. They will no longer let fear hold them in their pain, because Jesus healed their broken hearts. They will no longer choose pain over joy because Jesus set the captives free. They will no longer believe suffering is their lot in life because Jesus liberated those who were oppressed.

The most important question for you to answer is: Am I willing to give up my pain? Be honest with yourself, and circle one:  I am willing  or  I am not willing.

I hope each of you were able to say “I am willing,” because finding freedom from pain is the very journey you and I are going to take in this Bible Study. If you responded “I am not willing,” I pray that God will give you the strength to let go of your pain sometime during this study.

If you have a friend who needs to hear this good news about freedom from pain, why not share it with them today and invite them to take this Bible Study along with you! There is a place on the website to leave a comment right below the title of each lesson. If the lesson came to your email inbox, the comment button is directly below the last line of the text in this post. Please feel free to comment and I will respond to all comments.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing me face to face with my pain. I truly want to be willing to face it and to give it up. Show me what is hindering me from finding the pathway to freedom that you have designed especially for me. I claim and declare Luke 4:18 as my personal verse. I want to live again, love again, and enjoy life again. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.  

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 1 ~ The Tragedy

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A note from the author: Welcome to the Study Guide for Chapter 1. We all have a Chapter 1 in our lives that reflects where we are now—the starting point. This Chapter 1 is tragic and yours may be as well. But there are many chapters ahead filled with God’s stories and promises to us. I am so excited that you are joining us as we discover God’s pathway to healing. ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Bad Things Do Happen to Good People

There is one fact in life that no one can deny: Bad things do happen to good people. It has been happening since the first two sibling lived on planet earth, and it continues to this day. The weapons of our day may be different from the one Cain used to kill his brother, Abel, but the result was the same—death. It happened in broad daylight, big screen, technicolor, and as always, with devastating results. The aftermath for the first two parents on earth would have been unimaginable. It would have likely taken them years to recover. How could this horrific tragedy have occurred in the first five pages of the Bible? Let’s read Genesis 4:1-16.

In those Bible verses, did you see any clues as to what may have caused this tragedy? If so, list them here:

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If you spotted jealousy, self-pity and anger, you saw the same things I saw. I am sure there are more, but let’s focus on these three. Do you know of any situations (family, friends, or co-workers) where any of these three factors exist? Because our current culture is very different than it was thousands of years ago, today we can add things like drug abuse and social media influence to the list of probable causes. If you know of others, list them here:

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2.  The Elephant in the Room

Perhaps the hardest of all topics to discuss openly is mental illness. I did some research on that topic to include in my book, but was discouraged by my first editor. Apparently, many authors have already addressed it. However, I am including some of what I wrote in the paragraph below.

The most common solution for mental patients in the 1940s was to place the individual in a mental institution; therefore, my uncle was taken to a state mental facility in Abilene, Texas. Conditions inside mental facilities in general were not widely known by the public until the 1970s. Geraldo Rivera, an investigative reporter for WABC-TV in New York, secretly found a way to go behind the walls of the Willowbrook State School for the developmentally disabled on Staten Island. His report, which aired in 1972, told of “a host of deplorable conditions, including overcrowding, inadequate sanitary facilities, and physical and sexual abuse of residents by members of the school’s staff.” He reported the ratio of one worker per fifty patients in some cases, and no provisions to separate those with uncontrolled seizures from those with mental illness. The horror stories that emerged from Rivera’s documentary forever changed the way Americans would view mental health institutions. There is no intent to associate what Rivera found at Willowbrook with the facility in Abilene, Texas. It is included simply to point out that little had been done in that era to meet the needs of mentally-challenged patients. It seems ironic today, over 50 years since Rivera’s documentary on mental illness, that little progress has been made to properly diagnosis, treat, and provide for the vast array of needs for these patients. Real solutions seem to elude us.

Is it any wonder that family members do not want to place a loved one in an institution, that is, if any institutions remain after our government began closing them down in the 1980s? Today, many of these individuals are living among the homeless population on the streets of our cities across America.

Do you know someone personally who deals with a mentally-challenged family member? _______ If so, are you aware of the huge challenge to provide safe and manageable care for their loved one? _________ Do you know of solutions that might benefit other families? If so, list them here: _________________________________________________________________

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I personally view this problem as our problem as Christians and as a Christian nation. We can’t just be the land of the free and the home of the brave. We have been blessed because we care for the least among us. Mental illness should concern us all, as it is symptomatic of a deeper need within our society. Each school shooting, co-worker assault, and church or business that is turned into a killing field is our problem. If we could adopt that inclusive mindset, perhaps God will help us find some solutions.

3.  Weighty Words

In my book, I quoted my grandmother’s words about her son: “I’d rather be dead than lock him away somewhere.” Not long after she spoke those weighty words—almost prophetically—my family endured a tragedy with devastating results. Weighty means heavy, substantial, or bulky—basically, they are difficult to handle. Can you or someone you know relate to my grandmother’s mindset? _________

Every family that experiences a tragedy will face excruciating pain. There is no way around it. They will eventually discover that the very core of their being has been wounded. I chose the subtitle for my book, God’s Pathway to Healing for Deeply Wounded Souls, because it is something that I personally experienced. The only genuine pathway to healing for deeply wounded people is the one that God offers. He knows us like no one else know us, and He loves us unconditionally. He is the Great Physician and can perfectly heal our wounds. This subject will be discussed at length in future chapters.

Do you or someone you know have a deeply wounded soul due to a tragedy?  __________ Do you believe God has provided a pathway to healing for every wounded person? _______Why or why not?

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4.  Memories That Hurt

I have a vivid memory of the middle-of-the-night ambulance ride from my home to the hospital 25 miles away when my husband suffered a stroke. We had been fighting his cancer for nearly two years, and this was just one more thing to check off the list of awful things that would eventually happen to him. The doctors had told us what to expect, so you might think I was prepared—but not so.

I felt numb inside as I sat in silence in the front of the ambulance. I stared out the window at the red and white flashing lights bouncing off the tree tops. It seemed as though our whole lives raced through my mind as I began to process that the end was near for my husband’s earthly life. He slipped from our lives three weeks later. Yet, the nightmare for me was just beginning.

How about you? Do you have a memory that hurts? While mine is now over 20 years old, I still remember it clearly. Perhaps your memory is fresh and your pain unbearable. We will discuss that pain in Chapter 9, but know that God has never left you alone to deal with your pain. Make a note of your similar memory below and we will refer back to it later.

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5.  Cause and Effect Syndrome

Why is it that we humans always want someone to blame for our troubles? Is it so we can have an object on which to unleash our pain? Our anger? It is much harder to simply accept that God allowed this to happen. The basic Christian belief is that He is a God of love and truly loves me; therefore, He would not have allowed this to happen to me. So apparently someone else caused it. Right? Just let me scream at the guilty party, and my pain will go away! Can you relate to any of those feelings? __________ Briefly describe that situation?

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However, in many cases there is often no one to blame. We simply (pardon my overuse of the word simply, since there’s nothing simple about any of this) have to find our way through the maze of emotions while believing God can still be trusted. So much of the pain we deal with in loss is doubting God’s love for us. Recovery requires walking by faith in His goodness and not walking away from Him.

Running from God is never a good idea. When my current husband went through the loss of his first wife to cancer, he struggled with this very thing. At one point he thought he might just walk away from God. That is, until the Lord spoke to him and said, “Let me know how that works out for you.” He vividly recalls the Lord bringing to his mind the story in John 6:68 where Jesus asked the twelve disciples if they were going to leave him also. Peter answered, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You alone have the words of eternal life.” Have you had times in your life when you felt like walking away from God? If so, when?

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What did you do—stay or walk away? __________________________

God is always the right place for us to turn to, reach for, call upon, and trust in. He cannot and will not fail to comfort His children. We will learn much about His pathway to healing for our wounded souls in future chapters.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, it is comforting to think that You already know about my circumstances, my struggles, and my deepest wounds. It is possible that I am guilty of blaming others for my pain. I definitely have memories that hurt. I have even tried to run away from it all, including you. Yet, I am still wounded and I need your help. Thank you for finding me right where I am. I ask you show me the pathway to healing. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

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