A note from the author: This Study Guide digs even deeper into who we are and why it’s important to know where we came from. Our roots matter. We will also learn what God said about passing down our beliefs and values to the next generation. Most importantly, I hope you are inspired to ask your family members what only they can tell you—before it’s too late. ~ Sarah Jane 

1.  Why We Need to Know “Our People”

I have known several families that adopted children. In every case, there came a time in that adopted child’s life that he or she desired to find his or her birth parents. Their stories are often exciting, heart-warming, and result in great relationships for the remainder of their lives—but not always. Some searches do not turn out good at all, and actually leave the child wishing they had never tried to connect.

Regardless of how it turns out, there is something within us as human beings that causes us to need or want to know where we came from. Maybe it is part of our DNA that God put inside us that initiates a deep need for belonging. As I began to unpack my family’s 70-year-old tragedy, I hadn’t thought about what I would learn beyond the shock and the pain of it all. But God had a golden nugget tucked inside my efforts to learn the true story about the grandparents I never knew.

I was impressed with how my first cousins, all in their eighties, remembered so many little things about our shared grandparents. There were precious details that I never dreamed I would hear with my own ears. If I had not decided to ask the questions, my grandparents would have remained unknown strangers to me. Yet, because of my cousins’ willingness to tell me what they knew, I believe I will know my grandparents when I get to heaven.

In the information gathering process, I came to believe that it is up to us—all of us—to keep the memories of our people alive. After all, isn’t that what we want the next generation to do—remember us and tell their children about us as well? How about you—do you want to be remembered by your kids, grandkids, and even those born after you are gone? __________Why or why not?

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2.  The Benefits of Knowing Our Roots

I believe we can know ourselves better if we know where we came from. Isn’t knowing ourselves perhaps our greatest need, other than knowing God? Have you ever asked a family member this question, “Why am I like this? ”__________ If so, what did you learn by asking?

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One of the first things doctors do when we become their patient is to ask a lot of questions about us and our family—be it our primary care physician, our specialists, or mental health providers. And why do they do this? Because our family history is of great benefit to them in knowing what to look for and treat.

The same principles apply when we’re asked questions like: What do we want to be when we grow up? Do we plan to go to college and where? Do we attend church and if so, where? Why do we live in the city, or why do we prefer the wide-open spaces? Simple facts about us and our family tells others who we are. On a lighter note, families often drive the same make of vehicles. My family was clearly a Ford Family, and all of us knew it and passed down that tradition.

Can you think of things that your clan exhibits from generation to generation? List them here.

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Our scripture selection for this lesson is Deuteronomy 11:18-21. Here we find God talking to the children of Israel as they were on the brink of entering the Promised Land. He gave them clear instructions about how they were to obey His commands and how they were to teach their children those very same commands.

18 “Therefore, you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 20 And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, 21 that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.”

What did you see or hear in those scriptures that was new to you?

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One thing we can see in these verses is that God’s words of instruction were not only for themselves, but they were also for their children. Additionally, we can also see that the benefits were not only for themselves, but they were also for their children. If you look closely at families you know, you will likely see the same behaviors and beliefs in their children as they themselves have and live by. This is not by chance, but it is by God’s design.

However, there are benefits in knowing our roots, whether our family is good or not-so-good. If yours is a good family, then all is well and the values can be passed down to the next generations. But if your family is not-so-good, and your eyes are opened to see it, you can decide to reach for a better way of life. Your generation can be the beginning of a new way to live with a new set of values. Sure, it will be hard and perhaps at times seem impossible, but it is true nonetheless.

Have you or someone you know made a choice to live a better lifestyle than the one you/they grew up with? If so, were you/they successful? Explain.

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3.  Sharing Memories Can Be Healthy

It is no surprise to any of us that television, technology, computers, and social media have greatly damaged family life. A quick Google search brought up this statistic:

“Family therapist Anne Fishel says only about 30% of families regularly eat dinner together, despite family meal time being hugely beneficial for kids.”

As a result, families are not talking to each other! I clearly remember my family sitting around the dinner table and discussing the events of the day. It was the same with my children and my grandchildren—and we all look forward to mealtime. Good food and good conversation are the highlight of our visits together.

The basic reason to study the Bible is to learn God’s plan for us in eternity—and not just eternity, but right here on earth. It tells us how to find peace of mind and soul in a relationship with Him, but also ways to interact with our family, friends, neighbors, or co-workers. The Bible, is the place to learn how to treat those He places in our lives. Every person is a valuable human being because God created each one of us, and every person has a reason for being on earth. Therefore, every person has a story to tell. To prove that sentence, ask yourself, “Do I have a story to tell?” __________ Would I like to share it with a family member that cares to hear it? ___________ Write a brief summary about that story below.

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As a mental exercise, think about members of your family, who are already gone from this life, that you wish you knew more about. Is it a possibility that some of your aunts, uncles, or cousins know the story of that person and would be willing to share it with you? ___________ Are you courageous enough to ask? ___________

I think it is sad when great people who lived great lives are never honored for what they have done except at their funeral. You and I are currently watching “the greatest generation on earth” die right before our eyes. There isn’t a lot of time left to capture stories from those brave men and women who fought in WWII. Here are the statistics in 2024:

16 million Americans served in WWII; only 119,000 of them are still living today; and they are dying at a staggering rate of 131 per day.

Do you know someone who has a heroic or a great story to tell that you would love to hear? __________Who? _________________________________

What prevents you from asking them?

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What are some words you could use to start that conversation—maybe things you think would interest them, or encourage them, or bless them? A good example could be something like “What was school like when you were a kid?” Or “What was your first job?” Others may be more personal, such as “Would you share your faith story with me?” Or “How did you meet Grandma/Grandpa?” There are dozens of topics most older people like to talk about. List your ideas here:

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If you were to write your own story someday, I hope you won’t have a chapter like mine: The Grandparents I Never Knew. I didn’t have a choice, but you possibly do. I believe there are many amazing men and women in each of our lives who would be overjoyed to share their stories. So, what if we turn off the TV, close the laptop, put down our phones, and focus on where we are and who we are with? We might just make someone’s day. I promise, you’ll cherish that time. You can thank me later.

Prayer:  Heavenly Father, I am grateful for the earthly family that you placed me in, even if it isn’t as good as I’d like for it to be. We are still your offspring and have a purpose for being on earth. With your help, I believe I can reach for a better lifestyle than the one I am living now. Knowing my family roots and traditions are important so I can know which ones to keep and which ones to replace. Help me learn from your Word how to walk with you and then teach that to my children. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.