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Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 5 ~ THE GRANDPARENTS I NEVER KNEW

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A note from the author: This Study Guide digs even deeper into who we are and why it’s important to know where we came from. Our roots matter. We will also learn what God said about passing down our beliefs and values to the next generation. Most importantly, I hope you are inspired to ask your family members what only they can tell you—before it’s too late. ~ Sarah Jane 

1.  Why We Need to Know “Our People”

I have known several families that adopted children. In every case, there came a time in that adopted child’s life that he or she desired to find his or her birth parents. Their stories are often exciting, heart-warming, and result in great relationships for the remainder of their lives—but not always. Some searches do not turn out good at all, and actually leave the child wishing they had never tried to connect.

Regardless of how it turns out, there is something within us as human beings that causes us to need or want to know where we came from. Maybe it is part of our DNA that God put inside us that initiates a deep need for belonging. As I began to unpack my family’s 70-year-old tragedy, I hadn’t thought about what I would learn beyond the shock and the pain of it all. But God had a golden nugget tucked inside my efforts to learn the true story about the grandparents I never knew.

I was impressed with how my first cousins, all in their eighties, remembered so many little things about our shared grandparents. There were precious details that I never dreamed I would hear with my own ears. If I had not decided to ask the questions, my grandparents would have remained unknown strangers to me. Yet, because of my cousins’ willingness to tell me what they knew, I believe I will know my grandparents when I get to heaven.

In the information gathering process, I came to believe that it is up to us—all of us—to keep the memories of our people alive. After all, isn’t that what we want the next generation to do—remember us and tell their children about us as well? How about you—do you want to be remembered by your kids, grandkids, and even those born after you are gone? __________Why or why not?

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2.  The Benefits of Knowing Our Roots

I believe we can know ourselves better if we know where we came from. Isn’t knowing ourselves perhaps our greatest need, other than knowing God? Have you ever asked a family member this question, “Why am I like this? ”__________ If so, what did you learn by asking?

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One of the first things doctors do when we become their patient is to ask a lot of questions about us and our family—be it our primary care physician, our specialists, or mental health providers. And why do they do this? Because our family history is of great benefit to them in knowing what to look for and treat.

The same principles apply when we’re asked questions like: What do we want to be when we grow up? Do we plan to go to college and where? Do we attend church and if so, where? Why do we live in the city, or why do we prefer the wide-open spaces? Simple facts about us and our family tells others who we are. On a lighter note, families often drive the same make of vehicles. My family was clearly a Ford Family, and all of us knew it and passed down that tradition.

Can you think of things that your clan exhibits from generation to generation? List them here.

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Our scripture selection for this lesson is Deuteronomy 11:18-21. Here we find God talking to the children of Israel as they were on the brink of entering the Promised Land. He gave them clear instructions about how they were to obey His commands and how they were to teach their children those very same commands.

18 “Therefore, you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 20 And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, 21 that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.”

What did you see or hear in those scriptures that was new to you?

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One thing we can see in these verses is that God’s words of instruction were not only for themselves, but they were also for their children. Additionally, we can also see that the benefits were not only for themselves, but they were also for their children. If you look closely at families you know, you will likely see the same behaviors and beliefs in their children as they themselves have and live by. This is not by chance, but it is by God’s design.

However, there are benefits in knowing our roots, whether our family is good or not-so-good. If yours is a good family, then all is well and the values can be passed down to the next generations. But if your family is not-so-good, and your eyes are opened to see it, you can decide to reach for a better way of life. Your generation can be the beginning of a new way to live with a new set of values. Sure, it will be hard and perhaps at times seem impossible, but it is true nonetheless.

Have you or someone you know made a choice to live a better lifestyle than the one you/they grew up with? If so, were you/they successful? Explain.

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3.  Sharing Memories Can Be Healthy

It is no surprise to any of us that television, technology, computers, and social media have greatly damaged family life. A quick Google search brought up this statistic:

“Family therapist Anne Fishel says only about 30% of families regularly eat dinner together, despite family meal time being hugely beneficial for kids.”

As a result, families are not talking to each other! I clearly remember my family sitting around the dinner table and discussing the events of the day. It was the same with my children and my grandchildren—and we all look forward to mealtime. Good food and good conversation are the highlight of our visits together.

The basic reason to study the Bible is to learn God’s plan for us in eternity—and not just eternity, but right here on earth. It tells us how to find peace of mind and soul in a relationship with Him, but also ways to interact with our family, friends, neighbors, or co-workers. The Bible, is the place to learn how to treat those He places in our lives. Every person is a valuable human being because God created each one of us, and every person has a reason for being on earth. Therefore, every person has a story to tell. To prove that sentence, ask yourself, “Do I have a story to tell?” __________ Would I like to share it with a family member that cares to hear it? ___________ Write a brief summary about that story below.

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As a mental exercise, think about members of your family, who are already gone from this life, that you wish you knew more about. Is it a possibility that some of your aunts, uncles, or cousins know the story of that person and would be willing to share it with you? ___________ Are you courageous enough to ask? ___________

I think it is sad when great people who lived great lives are never honored for what they have done except at their funeral. You and I are currently watching “the greatest generation on earth” die right before our eyes. There isn’t a lot of time left to capture stories from those brave men and women who fought in WWII. Here are the statistics in 2024:

16 million Americans served in WWII; only 119,000 of them are still living today; and they are dying at a staggering rate of 131 per day.

Do you know someone who has a heroic or a great story to tell that you would love to hear? __________Who? _________________________________

What prevents you from asking them?

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What are some words you could use to start that conversation—maybe things you think would interest them, or encourage them, or bless them? A good example could be something like “What was school like when you were a kid?” Or “What was your first job?” Others may be more personal, such as “Would you share your faith story with me?” Or “How did you meet Grandma/Grandpa?” There are dozens of topics most older people like to talk about. List your ideas here:

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If you were to write your own story someday, I hope you won’t have a chapter like mine: The Grandparents I Never Knew. I didn’t have a choice, but you possibly do. I believe there are many amazing men and women in each of our lives who would be overjoyed to share their stories. So, what if we turn off the TV, close the laptop, put down our phones, and focus on where we are and who we are with? We might just make someone’s day. I promise, you’ll cherish that time. You can thank me later.

Prayer:  Heavenly Father, I am grateful for the earthly family that you placed me in, even if it isn’t as good as I’d like for it to be. We are still your offspring and have a purpose for being on earth. With your help, I believe I can reach for a better lifestyle than the one I am living now. Knowing my family roots and traditions are important so I can know which ones to keep and which ones to replace. Help me learn from your Word how to walk with you and then teach that to my children. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 4 ~ THE FAMILY I KNEW

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A note from the author: This Study Guide will take us to new places we may have never thought about going. We will likely learn new things about ourselves, but even more about our family. We all have one; and whether we like them or not, we are like them in many ways. You will also find some ideas on how to mend the fences with your people. So, let’s get going! ~Sarah Jane

1.  Who Are Our People?

We all have what we call our people, our tribe, or our clan. The most common term is simply our relatives, for those with whom we are biologically related. We also know this group of human beings as kinfolks, because we are kin by blood. We share many things with these individuals—mainly, but certainly not limited to, the blood that runs through our veins. We also share genetics, physical features, good or not-so-good looks, and temperaments. Oh, but it goes even further than that—there are talents such as being able to sing, dance or play an instrument that can be traced back to our kinfolks. Equally true, the qualities of high intelligence or exceptional athletic capabilities also run in families. Further still, we often hold the same religious views, political views, and societal views.

Whether we like our kinfolks or not, we are like them in many ways. There were several things I discovered about my family during the data gathering process for my book that I did not know beforehand. I did not know that almost every member of my dad’s family played a musical instrument. All I knew was that I loved music with every fiber of my being. I guess I thought everybody loved music as much as I did—after all, what’s not to love about music?

Is there something about YOU (a trait, skill or desire) that you wonder where in the world it came from? __________ Describe it below.

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I must ask: Have you looked around at your kinfolks? __________________________________________________________________

2.  Childhood Memories

Childhood memories are something we all have. I have wonderful memories as a child growing up around my people, and I cherish them even more today now that I’ve written about them. But good or bad, our memories are what they are. If yours are not so good, I encourage you to face them with courage. You can’t change your memories, but by addressing them, you may see some things differently now that you are an adult.

Without disclosing any facts about your hurtful memories, make a note here of a memory you possibly need to face.

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Some people keep bad memories suppressed for years. That is generally not a good idea as it can eventually lead to mental anguish that pushes individuals to carry out revenge on family members, co-workers, and even innocent people. I recommend getting professional help, be it through a counselor, pastor, or friend. Life is too short not to live it to the fullest. God wants His children to live in total freedom from our sin, our past, and our bad memories. Let’s look at two chain-breaking statements Jesus made while He was on earth.

John 8:32 “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Jesus deeply cares about our freedom. He knows that truth has inherent qualities when brought into the light of His love that can bring freedom to our lives. It is knowledge of the truth that breaks off our chains. Listening to and believing lies does the exact opposite.

John 8:36 “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

Here Jesus heralds Himself as the Master over bondages, chains, addictions, lies, deceit, half-truths or any other life-suffocating obstacles. And He announces that if He sets us free from any of those relentless monsters, we will truly be free!

Rewrite these two scriptures and insert the pronouns I and me in the place of you.

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3.  Strained Relationships ~ What Can We Do?

For more than four decades, I have been friends with a family of five daughters. I have watched them live in close proximity to one another and their parents. Not once have I known of a dispute among any of them, nor one bad word spoken about another. They live life together, and some have worked together. They share the responsibility of taking care of elderly parents and do it well. They truly earn a five-star rating in my mind, and they are greatly admired as a family by anyone who knows them. But unfortunately, they are not the norm. It isn’t uncommon to have issues with our people. So, what can we do about our strained relationships?

While some bad behaviors are intentional, a large part of family issues are caused by misunderstandings. The enemy of our souls continually spins and spreads half-truths. If not dealt with, these misunderstandings can change a molehill into a mountain. The longer they are allowed to go unchecked, the bigger the issue becomes. It is often necessary to “eat crow” to get some issues resolved; yet I believe in most cases our people are worth the effort to restore the relationship.

If you think your family’s issues are over-the-top, think again. Let’s look at several examples of family issues from the Bible to see if they were all perfect people with perfect relationships.

Cain and Abel, sons of Adam and Eve and the first two siblings on earth: Cain was jealous of Abel, so he killed him. Not so good, huh? (Genesis 4:1-8)

Isaac and Ishmael, the half-brothers of Abraham: Descendants of both of these men claim they are from the son of promise that God gave to Abraham. This battle still rages today in the Middle East. (Genesis 15:1-8; Chapters 16; 17; and 21:1-21)

Jacob and Esau, the twin brothers of Isaac and Rebecca: Jacob, the younger brother, stole his older brother’s birthright. That is a really big deal in Jewish families. (Genesis 25:19-34)

Joseph and his 11 brothers, the sons of Jacob: The brothers were jealous of Joseph because he was their father’s favorite, so they sold him into slavery. The twelve sons of Jacob were born to four different mothers. Want to talk about a challenge? (Genesis 37:1-36)

These examples are from just the first book of the Bible! But in case you thought your family situation is the absolute worst, these stories should help put things into perspective. Dysfunctional families have been around since the get-go!

4.  How Do We Move Toward Reconciliation?

Sections A through D below are good ideas that could help you resolve some issues with family members. They are certainly not to replace professional help, but rather to provide some simple keys that work for many people. The actual keys are underlined.

A.  The first key is that you must desire to fix things with your family member(s). You will have to make the first move—through prayer and self-reflection. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to fix this?” Record your reasons below.

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B.  If you truly want to reconcile, the next two keys are: forgiveness is essential, and accusations (blame) must stop. Determine in your heart now if you can do these two things. What role does forgiveness play here? What about blame?

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C.  Be willing to meet them half-way. In so doing, you are accepting that part of the problem could be you. Why is this step important?

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D.  Move forward with caution, respect, kindness, and love. Simple kindness may be the most effective key you use. Remember that love never fails—and it will not fail you or fail them. Which of these four words can you see yourself using? __________________________________________________________________

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E.  Everybody has a perspective and it could be different than yours. Everyone is important to God and is one of His offspring. Every person is worthy of mercy and grace, since Jesus died for all of us. Why must we extend mercy and grace to those who don’t deserve it?

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These simple steps are not a fix-all by any means, but what if God restores a relationship that has been broken for half a lifetime? Believe now that “He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think!” (Ephesians 3:20)

Please understand that the good ideas and simple keys above are presented as possible solutions for typical and ordinary misunderstandings and behaviors in families. They are not offered as a solution for every offense, especially in the case of harmful actions like sexual abuse. Reconciliation may not be possible in some cases, and those kinds of offenses need and deserve professional counseling.

I have covered many thoughts and ideas to help you deal with your family matters. I pray in the coming days that the Holy Spirit will speak to your heart which ones can help you find healing, health, and wholeness in everything family!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that my childhood memories are certainly not like a fairytale. In fact, there are some issues with my kinfolks that I would like to reconcile. I have no idea how it will be received, but thank you for bringing me to this point of acknowledgement. Oh God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot fix, the courage to fix the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.1 Please help me to honor You in whatever I do with this new insight. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

1 The Serenity Prayer, modified by author

Easter, Holidays, Reflections

A SIMPLE EASTER

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My longtime friend and photographer, Mark Rouk, created this picture a few years ago. It is my all-time favorite Easter picture. I’m guessing he used some simple things like a mound of sand, a few twigs, a drop or two of superglue, a black cloth, and a flashlight. Regardless of what he used beyond his own amazing creativity doesn’t matter—it is the message that his simple silhouette speaks to us.

Defining Easter can be huge or minuscule, depending on your audience. If one is writing a dissertation, it could get deep and complicated really quick. But if it is telling a child what Easter is about, a simpler definition will work. Basically, Jesus loves us so much that He died on a cross for our sins. Enough said, huh? Sometimes a simple Easter is in order for our crazy-busy lives.

I am beyond the age of having kids and even grandkids young enough to hunt Easter eggs. Those were simple days—wonderful days with priceless memories. We dressed our children in the best Easter apparel we could afford—matching shirts and slacks, frocks and frills, shoes, hats and Easter baskets. After the Easter Sunday Morning Church Service, we all made our way to Gramps and Granny Kellogg’s house for lunch. Our sweet Granny Grace’s Easter egg hunts are forever lodged in our hearts. But before the hunt could take place, we gathered in the kitchen where every inch of countertop, the cooktop and the kitchen table were filled with dishes of delicious food. Everyone ate their fill with joy and laughter—while holding off the kids as long as possible to give the teenagers time to hide the eggs. Then the race was on!

I suspect your past Easter Sundays were much like mine. It seems as though they were a lifetime ago. Yet today, I hear my Lord speak priceless words to my heart: “Sarah Jane, slow down and have a simple Easter this year.” I don’t know about you, but I’m in need of a more-simple lifestyle altogether. See if you can relate.

I need to manage my intake of frightening news from around the world—and my best guess is to simply turn it off. I need to worry less about all the corruption in our nation, and simply focus on the good. I need to care less about just the right clothes, shoes and purse, and simply be content with what I have. I need to stop fretting about all the high prices (and God knows they are everywhere), and simply settle for less going, less buying, and less eating. I need to spend less time on frivolous and unnecessary things, and simply do more things that make my Lord, my family, and my friends smile.

I’m sure you’ve heard the K.I.S.S. principle—Keep it simple, S______.” The Lord just gave me the idea to insert the word “Sweetie” as the fourth word in that phrase. So, here’s my advice for a wonderful Easter this year: “Keep it simple, Sweetie!”

A HAPPY AND BLESSED EASTER TO ALL! ~ Sarah Jane

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 3 ~ THE HISTORY

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A note from the author: The lesson for Chapter 3 may seem a bit off-target since it focuses on things that happened long ago—better known as history. You may ask, why do I care? Or why should I care? But you will soon discover that our history is very much a part of who we are today. So, dive in and see where God takes you! ~Sarah Jane

1.  History Matters to Us

In my book, There Is Life after Tragedy, I described history like this: “I like to think of history as looking in a rearview mirror. You’re not going that way, but it does give you a small glimpse of where you’ve been.” History matters to us—or at least it should. Yet, I know there are many who would rather not know their family history just because it feels tainted or spoiled, and you’re thinking why not just leave that stone unturned. That may well be an accurate description, but it also may not be. The truth is that you will never know for certain unless you try to unpack your own history. Only you can make that decision.  

Just in case you think you might like to take a peek at what’s out there about your family, there are some things you may want to consider. It is sad but true that many of us seem not to care about our history until it is too late. Oft times family members leave us way to early, and we are left with a thousand questions we intended to ask them someday. I’ve seen it happen many times. So, take my advice—since it’s free—and get your courage up and ask them now. In this lesson, I will give you some ideas on how to go about it, some dos and don’ts, and as always, some valuable treasures to look for in the process.

Do you have one or more older family members whose life or memory is slipping away? ________ If so, list them below:

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2.  History Matters to God

One good reason for gathering our history is because history matters to God. You may ask why does it matter to Him, and how do I know that it does? As usual, the best resource we have about our God and His ways are His written Word. We’re going to start by looking at the Index in our Bible. As I point out various things about the Old and New Testaments, look down the list of books and locate what I have mentioned.

At the beginning of the Bible, we encounter the first five books that are accredited to Moses as the author. While some theologians question the bases of this accreditation, it has never been proven one way or the other. One commentary said that Moses was more of a recorder than an author; but regardless, God told someone in His family to write down what happened in the beginning. And aren’t we glad He did?

Many books in the Old Testament are named after the author, such as Joshua, Samuel, Nehemiah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Habakkuk. The point is that someone close up and personal to these stories had an inner leading to write down the events.

The New Testament books were mostly named after the authors as well, except for some that were named after the recipients of the letters written to them. For example, Romans, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, and Philippians are what the people were called who lived in the cities of Rome, Corinth, Galatia, Ephesus, and Philippi. Lastly, we are so incredibly blessed to have four authors recording the life of Jesus—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. WOW! Different authors, different viewpoints, and different reasons for writing—all things that matter to us as readers.

Several books of the Bible are categorized as prophecy—something to be unveiled at a later time. For instance, in Daniel 12:4 NLT we read these words: “But you, Daniel, keep this prophecy a secret; seal up the book until the time of the end, when many will rush here and there, and knowledge will increase.” Because much of Daniel’s book applies to the times you and I are living in, we can know what was on God’s heart thousands of years ago about us and our day.

In the Book of Revelation, we find an interesting fact about how the person assigned to record something carried out his assignment.

Revelation 1:1-2 NLT “This is a Revelation from Jesus Christ, which God gave him concerning the events that will happen soon. An angel was sent to God’s servant John so that John could share the revelation with God’s other servants. John faithfully reported the word of God and the testimony of Jesus Christ—everything he saw.”

Did you notice the part that basically said, “so that John could share it with others?” God has His servants write things down so His other servants—and that would be us—can read them, too! Clearly, history matters to God.

3.  Make Yourself a Plan

A.  If you want to capture your family’s history, developing a plan would be a wise place to start. Ask yourself what you want to know, why you want to know it, and who might be the best person to ask about it. Be aware that much of your ancestry data may have already been gathered by another family member simply because websites like Ancestory.com have made it easier to do. So, ask questions before you start. You can tap into their findings if you sign up for the same app they used, but the monthly fee eventually gets expensive.

Do you know if a family member has already gathered data on a site like Ancestory.com? _______ If not, who might know?

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B.  Dos and Don’ts: Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you build your plan. When you determine who you would like to interview about your family’s story, pray about it first, and then ask God to give you wisdom and courage to move forward. As you attempt to unpack the story, always be kind, sensitive, and thoughtful because these memories could bring pain to that person. Since I already knew to be careful in gathering information about my family’s tragedy, I continually watched for signs that I was going too far, stepping over the line, or asking pointed questions. I mostly let it flow naturally, and did it ever flow!

C.  One of the questions my cousins had for me was: “What are you going to do with this information?” I was upfront and honest. I told them I planned to post it on my blog and perhaps publish a book. Throughout the process, I kept my cousins informed at every stage of writing, proofreading and publishing. They were allowed to make changes or clarify things I had written. In short, we walked through it together.

4.  Finding Treasures in the Process

One of my fondest memories was an interview with my great aunt, Ruth Bode, two days before her 100th birthday. Ruth was a sister-in-law to my grandfather (who was killed in the tragedy), and she was the last living person of their generation. You will read about this interview in Chapter 5. It holds a special place in my heart as a priceless treasure gleaned from the process of gathering information.

Although this entire chapter is historical, it still made a huge mark on my life. The quote by Priscilla Shirer at the end of Chapter 3 (page 24), spells out our responsibility to the younger generation: “The patterns you set will form a pathway that others will walk.”

To get an idea how someone might feel about being interviewed, let’s fast forward several years and think about the fact that you are now the person sitting in a rocking chair with a throw draped across your lap. Then a young whipper-snapper niece or nephew comes up to you, pulls up a chair, and wants to pick your brain about the past. How would you handle that?

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Do you feel certain things deserve to remain private?

Yes or No ______________

Why do you feel that way?

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Do you think the younger generations have a right to know what you know? ___________ Why or why not?

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These kinds of encounters can turn out good or not-so-good. However, they can also yield treasures that we didn’t know were there. If we use wisdom, we might develop a new relationship with a family member we never dreamed possible. Who knows, they might even change our mind about some mis-information we were told years ago. Whatever we do, we should work towards a positive outcome for everyone involved. And that will honor God.

The best advice I have to give is to use discretion and a great deal of respect for those you want to interview. In reality, they are not obligated to tell you what they know; therefore, be grateful for their willingness to share anything at all. Otherwise, you may come away from the interview with a blank piece of paper. Just saying.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I am grateful for those you spoke to thousands of years ago to record their stories so that my generation can read and learn from them. Help me capture my own family’s history, if it hasn’t already been done, so I can pass it down to my children and grandchildren. I want to always be sensitive to your leading and have the courage to talk to family members. I desire to honor you in how I do this. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen. 

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 2 ~ THE GATHERING

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A note from the author: You do know that God is always moving us forward in life and in knowing Him—right? It’s a wonderful journey, especially when we anticipate the powerful Holy Spirit working in us. This lesson is packed full of good things—the very things you have been looking for. So, let’s get started! ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Finding a Place of Freedom

To give us a point of reference for this chapter, think about a family secret, situation, or controversy in your own family that has never been discussed in a gathering of family members. But now it is being addressed. Can you for a moment sense the strain on everyone attending? In my book I called it, “opening a can of worms that no one wanted to open.”

Have you ever been a part of such a gathering? ______________

When: __________________________________________________________

Record below what was the subject of your meeting?

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Perhaps because I was the youngest cousin in the group and I had called the meeting, it felt as though the air was so thick I could slice it with a knife. I was so nervous that I forgot to locate the outline I had carefully prepared to guide me through the meeting. So, I had to wing it. Yet, what happened next was nothing short of a miracle.

If I have one favorite sentence in my entire book, it is the one located at the bottom of Page 15: “It seemed as though a dam had broken and pent-up water gushed forth across a newly opened pathway.”

God was there and He never left. It was God Himself who created that pathway for these cousins to open up their hearts and allow their seventy-year-old pain to find its way to freedom. Let’s be honest: How many of us need for God to show us a pathway to freedom for our pain? Aren’t our tired and weary hearts ready for relief from this heavy load? Answer this question as honestly as possible: Are you now willing to face your pain?  Circle one: I am willing or I am not willing.

2.  How We Cope with Our Pain

When it comes to pain, we humans have a vast array of ways that we cope with it. Here are just some examples.

A. Some people hold on to their pain because they fear letting go of the pain means they didn’t love their lost loved one as much. This approach is very real and active in the lives of many people. Do you know people who have taken this approach to their pain?

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B. I have come across people who actually say, “I don’t want to get over this pain, so thank you very much, but I’ll just keep it!” Do you know someone who may not admit this out loud, but their actions seem to support this approach?

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C. There are people who have lost a loved one, or lost arms, legs, eyes, etc. in an accident, or are diagnosed with a debilitating disease, and they refuse to let go of their pain because they believe that suffering is their lot in life. Do you know anyone like this and how does it make you feel when you are around them?

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I am certain there are more approaches to pain than the three mentioned above. Yet the truth of the matter as stated in the Chapter 1 Study Guide is this: God has a pathway for all sufferers to find freedom from their pain.

Freedom from the pain in our wounded and broken hearts can belong to us, but we will likely have to give up something in order to gain that freedom. Here are a few things we might have to turn loose of, but see if you can add others to the list:

1) An unhealthy mindset

2) False teaching

3) Lack of knowledge about God

4) Self-pity

5) ______________________________________________________________

6) ______________________________________________________________

7) ______________________________________________________________

8) ______________________________________________________________

3.  Discovering God’s Pathway to Freedom

Our focus scripture for this lesson is one of the greatest, most powerful, and best loved passages in the entire Bible. Let’s read Luke 4:16-21.

16 So He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up. And as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read. 17 And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah. And when He had opened the book, He found the place where it was written:

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,

Because He has anointed Me

To preach the gospel to the poor;

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,

To proclaim liberty to the captives

And recovery of sight to the blind,

To set at liberty those who are oppressed;

19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.”

20 Then He closed the book, and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all who were in the synagogue were fixed on Him. 21 And He began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Here we find Jesus at the very onset of His ministry going to the synagogue in His own hometown—Nazareth. He introduced Himself to the audience as being the Messiah and then spelled out for them precisely what He came to earth to do. Can’t you just hear Him declaring to them: “It is done! It has already been accomplished! Today! Now! You don’t have to wait any longer!”

WOW! What mighty and powerful words from the ONE who cannot lie!

4.  Are Jesus’ Words True or Not?

Unquestionably there were people in the synagogue the day Jesus announced that He was the Messiah who had doubts about what He said. After all, many of them had known Him for His entire life, including His own brothers and sisters. I’m certain it was shocking news to most everyone. Only time would tell if what He said was true, but Jesus didn’t doubt for one second. He knew exactly who He was and what He could do. Yet in time, each person in that audience would have to decide for themselves if they believed His words or not.  

Now let’s think about all the different scenarios we discussed back in Section 2 above—people dealing with all sorts of situations, untold consequences, unhealthy reactions, devastating accidents and losses of life and love. And if we look closer at the words of Jesus, we will discover that every person, all of them, can be found in Luke 4, Verse 18! Read that verse again. They are all there. They are all covered. There is not one person that is left without a pathway to freedom from their pain! Hallelujah!

What happens with each person grieving a loss of life or love today is exactly like each person listening to Jesus that day in the synagogue. Their outcome depends on whether or not they believe Jesus is who He said He is and that He can do what He said He can do. What about you? Do you believe Him?

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If you are not sure what you believe about Jesus, just answer “I don’t know” and then write any questions you may have about Him here:

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For those who believe, it will be a glorious day when they are set free from their pain to return to life, love, and wholeness again! That is God’s good plan for each of us. They will no longer let fear hold them in their pain, because Jesus healed their broken hearts. They will no longer choose pain over joy because Jesus set the captives free. They will no longer believe suffering is their lot in life because Jesus liberated those who were oppressed.

The most important question for you to answer is: Am I willing to give up my pain? Be honest with yourself, and circle one:  I am willing  or  I am not willing.

I hope each of you were able to say “I am willing,” because finding freedom from pain is the very journey you and I are going to take in this Bible Study. If you responded “I am not willing,” I pray that God will give you the strength to let go of your pain sometime during this study.

If you have a friend who needs to hear this good news about freedom from pain, why not share it with them today and invite them to take this Bible Study along with you! There is a place on the website to leave a comment right below the title of each lesson. If the lesson came to your email inbox, the comment button is directly below the last line of the text in this post. Please feel free to comment and I will respond to all comments.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing me face to face with my pain. I truly want to be willing to face it and to give it up. Show me what is hindering me from finding the pathway to freedom that you have designed especially for me. I claim and declare Luke 4:18 as my personal verse. I want to live again, love again, and enjoy life again. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.  

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 1 ~ The Tragedy

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A note from the author: Welcome to the Study Guide for Chapter 1. We all have a Chapter 1 in our lives that reflects where we are now—the starting point. This Chapter 1 is tragic and yours may be as well. But there are many chapters ahead filled with God’s stories and promises to us. I am so excited that you are joining us as we discover God’s pathway to healing. ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Bad Things Do Happen to Good People

There is one fact in life that no one can deny: Bad things do happen to good people. It has been happening since the first two sibling lived on planet earth, and it continues to this day. The weapons of our day may be different from the one Cain used to kill his brother, Abel, but the result was the same—death. It happened in broad daylight, big screen, technicolor, and as always, with devastating results. The aftermath for the first two parents on earth would have been unimaginable. It would have likely taken them years to recover. How could this horrific tragedy have occurred in the first five pages of the Bible? Let’s read Genesis 4:1-16.

In those Bible verses, did you see any clues as to what may have caused this tragedy? If so, list them here:

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If you spotted jealousy, self-pity and anger, you saw the same things I saw. I am sure there are more, but let’s focus on these three. Do you know of any situations (family, friends, or co-workers) where any of these three factors exist? Because our current culture is very different than it was thousands of years ago, today we can add things like drug abuse and social media influence to the list of probable causes. If you know of others, list them here:

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2.  The Elephant in the Room

Perhaps the hardest of all topics to discuss openly is mental illness. I did some research on that topic to include in my book, but was discouraged by my first editor. Apparently, many authors have already addressed it. However, I am including some of what I wrote in the paragraph below.

The most common solution for mental patients in the 1940s was to place the individual in a mental institution; therefore, my uncle was taken to a state mental facility in Abilene, Texas. Conditions inside mental facilities in general were not widely known by the public until the 1970s. Geraldo Rivera, an investigative reporter for WABC-TV in New York, secretly found a way to go behind the walls of the Willowbrook State School for the developmentally disabled on Staten Island. His report, which aired in 1972, told of “a host of deplorable conditions, including overcrowding, inadequate sanitary facilities, and physical and sexual abuse of residents by members of the school’s staff.” He reported the ratio of one worker per fifty patients in some cases, and no provisions to separate those with uncontrolled seizures from those with mental illness. The horror stories that emerged from Rivera’s documentary forever changed the way Americans would view mental health institutions. There is no intent to associate what Rivera found at Willowbrook with the facility in Abilene, Texas. It is included simply to point out that little had been done in that era to meet the needs of mentally-challenged patients. It seems ironic today, over 50 years since Rivera’s documentary on mental illness, that little progress has been made to properly diagnosis, treat, and provide for the vast array of needs for these patients. Real solutions seem to elude us.

Is it any wonder that family members do not want to place a loved one in an institution, that is, if any institutions remain after our government began closing them down in the 1980s? Today, many of these individuals are living among the homeless population on the streets of our cities across America.

Do you know someone personally who deals with a mentally-challenged family member? _______ If so, are you aware of the huge challenge to provide safe and manageable care for their loved one? _________ Do you know of solutions that might benefit other families? If so, list them here: _________________________________________________________________

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I personally view this problem as our problem as Christians and as a Christian nation. We can’t just be the land of the free and the home of the brave. We have been blessed because we care for the least among us. Mental illness should concern us all, as it is symptomatic of a deeper need within our society. Each school shooting, co-worker assault, and church or business that is turned into a killing field is our problem. If we could adopt that inclusive mindset, perhaps God will help us find some solutions.

3.  Weighty Words

In my book, I quoted my grandmother’s words about her son: “I’d rather be dead than lock him away somewhere.” Not long after she spoke those weighty words—almost prophetically—my family endured a tragedy with devastating results. Weighty means heavy, substantial, or bulky—basically, they are difficult to handle. Can you or someone you know relate to my grandmother’s mindset? _________

Every family that experiences a tragedy will face excruciating pain. There is no way around it. They will eventually discover that the very core of their being has been wounded. I chose the subtitle for my book, God’s Pathway to Healing for Deeply Wounded Souls, because it is something that I personally experienced. The only genuine pathway to healing for deeply wounded people is the one that God offers. He knows us like no one else know us, and He loves us unconditionally. He is the Great Physician and can perfectly heal our wounds. This subject will be discussed at length in future chapters.

Do you or someone you know have a deeply wounded soul due to a tragedy?  __________ Do you believe God has provided a pathway to healing for every wounded person? _______Why or why not?

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4.  Memories That Hurt

I have a vivid memory of the middle-of-the-night ambulance ride from my home to the hospital 25 miles away when my husband suffered a stroke. We had been fighting his cancer for nearly two years, and this was just one more thing to check off the list of awful things that would eventually happen to him. The doctors had told us what to expect, so you might think I was prepared—but not so.

I felt numb inside as I sat in silence in the front of the ambulance. I stared out the window at the red and white flashing lights bouncing off the tree tops. It seemed as though our whole lives raced through my mind as I began to process that the end was near for my husband’s earthly life. He slipped from our lives three weeks later. Yet, the nightmare for me was just beginning.

How about you? Do you have a memory that hurts? While mine is now over 20 years old, I still remember it clearly. Perhaps your memory is fresh and your pain unbearable. We will discuss that pain in Chapter 9, but know that God has never left you alone to deal with your pain. Make a note of your similar memory below and we will refer back to it later.

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5.  Cause and Effect Syndrome

Why is it that we humans always want someone to blame for our troubles? Is it so we can have an object on which to unleash our pain? Our anger? It is much harder to simply accept that God allowed this to happen. The basic Christian belief is that He is a God of love and truly loves me; therefore, He would not have allowed this to happen to me. So apparently someone else caused it. Right? Just let me scream at the guilty party, and my pain will go away! Can you relate to any of those feelings? __________ Briefly describe that situation?

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However, in many cases there is often no one to blame. We simply (pardon my overuse of the word simply, since there’s nothing simple about any of this) have to find our way through the maze of emotions while believing God can still be trusted. So much of the pain we deal with in loss is doubting God’s love for us. Recovery requires walking by faith in His goodness and not walking away from Him.

Running from God is never a good idea. When my current husband went through the loss of his first wife to cancer, he struggled with this very thing. At one point he thought he might just walk away from God. That is, until the Lord spoke to him and said, “Let me know how that works out for you.” He vividly recalls the Lord bringing to his mind the story in John 6:68 where Jesus asked the twelve disciples if they were going to leave him also. Peter answered, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You alone have the words of eternal life.” Have you had times in your life when you felt like walking away from God? If so, when?

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What did you do—stay or walk away? __________________________

God is always the right place for us to turn to, reach for, call upon, and trust in. He cannot and will not fail to comfort His children. We will learn much about His pathway to healing for our wounded souls in future chapters.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, it is comforting to think that You already know about my circumstances, my struggles, and my deepest wounds. It is possible that I am guilty of blaming others for my pain. I definitely have memories that hurt. I have even tried to run away from it all, including you. Yet, I am still wounded and I need your help. Thank you for finding me right where I am. I ask you show me the pathway to healing. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

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Holidays

A New Perspective This Christmas

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If your Christmas feels a bit plain and ordinary right now, I’d like to offer a suggestion: Ask God to open your eyes to see Christmas from a new perspective this year. It can happen for any seeker of God, since He always rewards seekers. (Heb.11:6)

Several months ago, I awoke very early one morning and began rehearsing what had been on my mind the night before. To my surprise, I heard the Lord gently speak these words to me: “This has never been about your love for Me; but it has always been about My love for you.” The subject I had been grappling with before falling asleep that night was how to walk in the Spirit, deny my flesh, and become an overcomer. Having struggled with this very thing for years, I was disappointed that I still hadn’t figured it out. I was confident it would require more obedience, more self-discipline, and certainly more resolve to get it right.

Although this nugget-word from the Lord would require some unpacking in the days ahead, in that moment I knew the Lord was showing me the inaccuracy of my long-held belief. I had thought my love for Him would be enough to make me an overcomer at some point. Yet, in one brief moment, His tender words had shot down my misconception.

I have always had a great love for God, yet through the years my love had waned, just as Peter’s love had waned—when being fully exposed as a Jesus follower; when faced with a decision to obey or not to obey; or when required to take a stand in the face of opposition. In my moment of honesty that morning, I suddenly realized my love would never be enough. With this new insight into my not-so-strong love for Jesus, I wondered what could possibly save me? It would be none other than the good news announced one starry night in Bethlehem: God’s love lying in the manger would save me!

The birth of Jesus was the greatest phenomenon to ever happen on planet Earth. Perhaps spending some time gazing into the Nativity scene could change our perspective. Let us look at it long. Let us look at it closely. God’s love was demonstrated in terms we can understand. The story, the setting, the unlikely cast are permeated with clues to His generous kindness toward us. The greatest story ever told is so simple a child can grasp it, yet so unthinkable that the angels shuddered at the thought of the Creator becoming a human. Creation swayed in its glory, as Mary held Hope in her lap.

The Prince of Peace had shattered all the protocols for being a “Royal.” He identified with the lowly, the poor, the rejected. He became one of us, as the incredible plan of God rocked the demonic realm. The miracle story was entrusted into the arms of a teenage girl, an insecure step-father, and stunned shepherds gawking in wonder. Love was born in Bethlehem as its oblivious residents slept. A King on their doorstep went unnoticed by the masses and worshiped by the few—yet strategically positioned to save them all. His love would encircle the globe—yearning, seeking, and reaching for the lost. He had come to save us, just as promised. The first “Gift” of Christmas wasn’t placed under a tree—but in a manger. Don’t forget to look there.

Ask the Divine to show you what He wants you to see this year. Gaze into the eyes of Mary and notice her unexplainable peace and calm. Then, gaze at the concern etched upon Joseph’s young brow as he weighs this new assignment. Don’t forget to gaze at the motley crew of shepherds who were astonished to be invited to such an event. And never fail to gaze at the wonderment of the wealthy kings who came prepared for this very moment and made it theirs—just by being seekers! As Mary does her pondering, may you sense the great love the Father has for these beloved children—hand-picked eye-witnesses to the most significant moment in history.

Our plain and ordinary view of Christmas changes remarkably as we gaze at this sacred scene. Right there in the midst of the most common pieces of life, God’s LOVE is found. For the gazers who recognize what they see, a miracle of extravagant LOVE invades their hearts. And that same extravagant LOVE can invade our hearts as well.

Love’s name is Jesus! He is our Gift from God for all eternity, and His love will be enough to save us.

My Christmas wish for you and yours is none other than: Happy Gazing to all!  ~ Sarah Jane

Encouragement, Faith, Lordship of Christ, The Last Days

King of the World

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If only we could turn off the blaring problems around the globe like we turn off the television set, we would likely give a big sigh of relief. There are certainly plenty of issues that cause us to fear—such as war, turmoil and hatred reaching explosive levels in many countries. But isn’t this what we’ve always thought the “last days before Jesus comes back” would look like?

Regardless of our political or religious differences, we can all agree that these are serious times. We generally look for someone on the main stage to stand up and say, “Don’t be afraid! I know what to do. Everything will be alright.” Yet, like me, you could believe that most politicians are untrustworthy; true leaders with character and courage are scarce; and what is terrifying is called good, and what is good is called terrifying.

I can’t help but share with you some amazing words that I came across just this morning. They are perfectly fitting for today!  I believe our faith in God will be refreshed and encouraged as we find instructions for what to do in times like these. Naturally, they come from God’s Word—the Words of Life—as found in Psalm 96. The Passion Translation is just that—passionate about the person being described for us.

 Psalm 96 ~ King of the World

“Go ahead—sing your new song to the Lord! Let everyone in every language sing him a new song.

Don’t stop! Keep on singing! Make his name famous! Tell everyone every day how wonderful he is. Give them the good news of our great Savior.

Take the message of his glory and miracles to every nation. Tell them about all the amazing things he has done.

For the Lord’s greatness is beyond description and he deserves all the praise that comes to him. He is our King-God and it’s right to be in holy awe of him.

Other gods are absolutely worthless. For the Lord God is Creator-God who spread the splendor of the skies!

Breathtaking brilliance and awe-inspiring majesty radiate from His shining presence. His stunning beauty overwhelms all who come before Him.

Surrender to the Lord Yahweh, all you nations and peoples. Surrender to Him all your pride and strength.

Confess that Jehovah alone deserves all the glory and honor. Bring an offering and come celebrate in his courts.

Come worship the Lord God wearing the splendor of holiness. Let everyone wait in wonder as they tremble in awe before him.

Tell the nations plainly that Yahweh rules over all! He is doing a great job, and nothing will disrupt him, for he treats everyone fair and square.

Let the skies sing for joy! Let the earth join in the chorus. Let oceans thunder and fields echo this ecstatic praise until every swaying tree of every forest joins in, lifting up their songs of joyous praise to him!

For here he comes, the Lord God, and he’s ready to judge the world. He will do what’s right and can be trusted to always do what’s fair. ~ Psalm 96:1-13 (TPT)

While it looks as though the whole world is in disarray, take heart. King Jesus will be coming soon to set up His kingdom on earth! Never doubt that He will put all things in order when He comes. We could say, “He will square things up!” The bizarre nonsense will disappear, and King Jesus will reign in peace, truth and righteousness. What is good will be called good, and what is evil will be called evil, as judged by the King Himself.

Victory days are just ahead for all true followers of Jesus Christ! I hope and pray that you are one of them. If so, go ahead and give that big sigh of relief, and then share the good news in this psalm with your friends and family. If you’re not a follower of Jesus Christ, tell a Christian friend or acquaintance that you’d like to meet Him. They will be happy to introduce you to the true King of the World!

~ Sarah Jane

Books and Book Reviews, Christian Living, Devotional

My Friend, Kay Vandevier Henry

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When my grandchildren were small, they had a favorite book at my house that was read to each child a thousand times, or at least, that’s the way I remember it. The title was Jan Lewis’ Fairy Tales,1 and contained four popular childhood stories: “The Ugly Duckling,” “Little Red Riding Hood,” “Cinderella,” and “The Three Little Pigs.” The book was large and colorful, with amazing imagery of those childhood characters. Yet, the authors had added a nice touch to their rendition of these timeless stories that caused great delight as we turned from page to page.

At the beginning of each story, the reader learns that an unfamiliar creature is hidden within the familiar scenes, along with how many times it appears in each story. It was a race to see which child could spot the creature first, and each sighting was celebrated with loud cheers! Page after page, we looked for a mouse, a caterpillar, or a little black bird, keeping count of the sightings as the story progressed. My grandkids have long outgrown that book, yet we all have fond memories of moments together while glued to this entertaining book.

In March of 2023, I spoke at a book signing event in Claremore, Oklahoma, a community where I spent twenty years of my life. It was a thrill to connect again with many wonderful friends. One of those friends made me an offer that day. She said, “I’d like to trade you one of my books for one of your books, if that works for you.” It absolutely worked for me!

I didn’t know my friend, Kay Henry, very well when we lived closer to each other, but our renewed friendship has brought joy to both of us. We never tire of talking about everything books! Today, I want to tell you about her and her wonderful devotional book—Living in the Light, A Journey of Goodness and Mercy.

You may wonder what my grandkids’ story has to do with Kay’s book. I simply say, “Much!” I had no expectations as I began to read her book, but I soon discovered something. Tucked within the well-written pages about the amazing God she serves, you will find hidden surprises, or snippets (as her husband calls them) on every page. It’s not unusual to run across a “Hallelujah!” or “Praise the Lord!” right where you don’t expect it. Kay dots her writings with mention of things that bring a smile, such as lyrics from Fiddler on the Roof, her husband’s homemade sourdough bread, or calling homemade jam a “love language.”

My friend’s life has been surrounded by Christians, be it family, friends, church, or career—Kay has lived life with God. She knows Him well; she knows the scriptures well; she has lived the Christ-life well. And in her book, she shares it with her readers so very well. I have no qualms in saying that Kay has and is living in the light! The statement on the back of her book cover is totally true: “Reading Living in the Light will stimulate ah-ha moments, switching on spiritual light bulbs so you can discover and rediscover….”

Her writing style amuses me, and I love her down-to-earth conversations. She writes: “In our daily lives, we say good morning to our family and hope for good news, good times, and good company. We want to look good, do good, and be good. We want our children to be as good as gold, our food to be finger-lickin’ good, our coffee to be good to the last drop, and our investments to be in good hands.”

Kay and her husband, Joe, have visited the Holy Land, and she shares the sights and sounds she discovered there. The richness of her written thoughts, all intricately woven together with scriptures, bring wealth to our own experiences of communing with God. I recently confessed to her that I am jealous of her vocabulary, knowing full-well that jealousy isn’t a good attribute to have. However, that word truly reflects how I feel about her mastery of the English language.

Kay’s book challenges us to think about what we do and why we do it, getting right to the heart of the matter. She also places us front and center into the story: “Sunrise at the Sea of Galilee is the setting for Jesus’s post-resurrection breakfast reunion with Peter and other disciples. He spoke important words to Peter that laid the groundwork for Peter’s ongoing calling.” And then surprise! She plunges us straight into the story with this thought-provoking question: “Are you willing to meet Jesus for sunrise rendezvous?”

I’m quite sure that Kay has met her Lord in a sunrise rendezvous. We’re even challenged by her devotional titles: “What Is Your Soul Worth?” “Has Your Salt Lost Its Flavor?” and “Why Do You Fail To Obey Me?” Yet just as quickly as we are confronted, Kay renders answers that stir deep: “Surrendered submission is stubborn disobedience that has been prayed over.”

Kay spent much of her career in church ministries and authored preschool resources. She also served as an assistant vice president at Oklahoma Baptist University in leading alumni and donor projects. After retiring in Claremore, she was invited to write a column for the Claremore Daily Progress, which would appear on the newspaper’s “Faith” page. Unquestionably, they picked the right person for the task.

Kay’s book can be purchased at her website www.kayhenrybook.com or any major book retailer. You won’t be disappointed—I promise!

~ Sarah Jane

1Amery, Heather, Mick Wells, and Bob Mathias, Jan Lewis’ Fairy Tales, (London, UK: Tucker Slingsby Ltd, 1998)

Books and Book Reviews

BOOKS BY SARAH JANE KELLOGG

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There Is Life After Tragedy

Sarah Jane published her first book, There Is Life after Tragedy, in August of 2022. It is a compelling story about her family’s tragedy that occurred before she was born. She unpacks the painful memories of her three older cousins, interwoven with her own personal losses in life, to create a powerful account of how believers can find God’s pathway to healing for their deeply wounded souls. It is available in softcover for $13.95 with free shipping from her publisher, WestBow Press, at http://www.sarahjanekellogg.com and at most major book retailers.

Sarah Jane is excited to share with you the industry-trusted KIRKUS REVIEW she recently received about her book. There is a short excerpt from the review below, but the review in its entirety can be read at http://www.kirkusreviews.com where you can search by book title or author’s name.

“Kellogg’s book is bracing and thoughtful; she avoids platitudes and self-soothing reductions. With an impressive combination of subtle intelligence and moral courage, she accepts the extraordinary challenges of life and limns a lucid defense of Christianity as a response to life’s trials. This is an unusually moving book, unflinching and honest.”

~Kirkus Indie – A review service from Kirkus Reviews

Any comments you may wish to leave on the Kirkus Reviews website about her book and/or their review will be greatly appreciated.

Future Books by Sarah Jane

Sarah Jane is currently writing her second book, a book that you will not want to live without. Future information will be forthcoming as it is available!

*Note: If you would like to receive relative information concerning this book and any future books by Sarah Jane, please subscribe to her blog, Treasure In Earthen Vessels, at http://www.treasureinearthenvessels.net. The subscribe option is located in the black area on the lefthand side of the screen. This will allow you to receive all of her post in your email inbox.