Category Archives: Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

Study Guides for Sarah Jane’s published book, There Is Life After Tragedy.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTERS 13 & 14 ~ THE END AND THE CONCLUSION

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A note from the author: When I sit down to write a study guide, I never know where the Holy Spirit is going to take me. I am so excited about where He took me on this one. This message is a matter of life or death. Expect God to speak directly to your heart about the most important decision of your entire life. The conclusion to your story is at stake. ~ Sarah Jane

1.  The Beginning of Our Story (Chapter 13)

Every story has a beginning and every story has an ending. That’s the cycle of life as well—we begin somewhere and we end somewhere. It is basically the Creator of all life who determines our starting place—what millennium, century, era, year, month and day, as well as what country, nationality, race and family we are born into. He chooses the important details about us as He sees fit, simply because He is in charge of all things beyond our ability to determine. After all, He is God.

However, we do have the capacity to understand that we are the created of God, and Bible tells us just how our Amazing Creator did it. Get ready to be amazed as we read these captivating words by King David in Psalm 139:13-16 (NKJV):

13 For You formed my inward parts;

You covered me in my mother’s womb.

14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,

The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them.

Dear one, you have a beginning and it began with God. He chose the big details about you, and He also chose the intricate details about you—the color of your eyes, your hair, your height, and the dimples in your cheeks. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God’s works are marvelous. That means YOU are marvelous, because you are one of His works! He also chose and shaped the days you will live upon the earth before one day of your life was even here. He loved you, His created one, so much that He recorded your days in His forever book. How does that knowledge about God make you feel?

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2.  The Middle of Our Story (Chapter 13)

As wonderful as it is, that is not all God has to do with your existence. He was not only involved in the beginning of your story; God is also right smack-dab in the middle of it as well. He knows you through and through, every fiber of your being and every intent of your heart and mind because He’s the One who made you the way you are. King David spells it out in the same chapter in Psalms. Read these incredible words slowly to grasp their meaning. Psalm 139:1-6 (NKJV).

1 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.

2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;

You understand my thought afar off.

3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,

And are acquainted with all my ways.

4 For there is not a word on my tongue,

But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.

5 You have hedged me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is high, I cannot attain it.

In other words, the Master Sculptor knows every word you speak and every thought you think. God knew where David was every moment of the day, whether he was sitting up or lying down. David said that God had a hedge around him, and was in front of him and behind him. In fact, David stated that God’s very hand was upon him. David described that as a wonderful thing.

I wonder why David thought that was a wonderful thing, since most of us like our privacy. I believe it was because David knew that the God who created him was on his side! God was for him and not against him. David recognized that having the most powerful force in the universe watching over him and looking out for him 100% of the time was a huge plus in his favor. How about you? Do you know that God is on your side? _______ That God is for you and not against you? ________ Explain if that makes you feel good or not-so-good.

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3.  The End of Our Story (Chapter 13)

At the end of my book, There Is Life after Tragedy, I describe how all of my relatives who were not Christians at the time of the tragedy eventually came back to the God of their parents. “Not one of them dared to miss heaven” because they grew up being taught that God was real and that God loved each one of them. I don’t know where you are in your journey, but you need to understand that while you didn’t have any say in where, when, and to whom you were born, and that God watched you all the years in the middle of life, protecting, drawing, and tugging at your heart, whether you wanted Him to or not—you do have a say in the end your earthly life. We are going to look at one more passage of scripture that could be the most valuable verses in all of these many weeks of studying the Bible. It is found in that same chapter—Psalm 139:7-12 NKJV

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?

8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

9 If I take the wings of the morning,

And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,

And Your right hand shall hold me.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”

Even the night shall be light about me;

12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,

But the night shines as the day;

The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

What we glean from these verses is that the God who made you will not let you slip away from Him without trying over and over to get your attention. In fact, you will not be able to get away from Him. You cannot run far enough to get out of His reach. Isn’t it just remarkable to think that this mighty, powerful God loves His creations that much! He wants you to spend eternity in Heaven with Him, and He will go to all lengths to bring you to Himself. He cares more than you have ever imagined possible. Today He longs for you to stop running and let Him catch you. If this describes you, have you ever thought about these two questions:

“What have I got to lose, if I give my heart to God?” _________________________________________________________________

“What have I got to lose, if in the end I have not responded to God’s love for me?”

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A loving God patiently awaits your answer. You alone have control over the end of your story and where you will spend eternity. Not God. Not anyone. Only you.

4.  The Conclusion of Our Story (Chapter 14)

I tend to think of a conclusion as the wrap-up of an event or process. It is when all is said and done, or when it’s over and the results are in. In reality at the end of life, a conclusion means one thing: Where we will spend eternity. The opportunity to change our mind is past. The ability to think again has disappeared. The chance to have overs is forever gone. We will all have one of two conclusions: Life forever in heaven with a God who has loved us since the beginning, or life forever in a place of darkness away from God.

Stop for a minute, turn off the noise, lean back and relax. Now close your eyes and take in a long deep breath of air. Allow your mind to slip into neutral as best you can, and then ask yourself these questions: Have I ever stopped long enough while living this life God has given me to realize where it came from? Have I ever considered that there is a Creator who intentionally made me the way I am? Have I ever thought that I am the object of His love, His hope, and His joy? Be honest—have I believed these statements or do I believe what I’ve only heard about God? If so, was it from a reliable source?

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What else would your Heavenly Father have to tell you to make you believe how excited He is over you? More scriptures? The Bible is full of words that describe His love for you. You are His magnificent creation. His love is reaching for you. His love is encircling you, desiring to capture your attention. He has been looking for you for your entire life. He has been calling out to you and chasing you down with His blessings. He cares deeply for you. And He longs to reveal His love to you—if only you would welcome Him into your life.  

How about today—right now—would you turn your heart toward the Lover of your soul? No one has ever loved you like Jesus Christ loves you. No one else died for you—in your place—except Jesus. No one else can offer you eternal life in heaven. There are only two options when you die: one is a wonderful choice, and the other is the worst conclusion to any life. My prayer for you is that right now you will pray the following prayer and ask Jesus to come into your heart and save you. It will be the best decision of your life. I promise.

Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, my heart feels something stirring inside. I have never actually given you the opportunity to catch me, but I’m tired of running. My plans haven’t worked out so well, so I would like to try your plan. I am sorry for my sins and my bad choices. I ask you to forgive me and give me another chance. I invite you, Lord Jesus, to come into my heart and change me into a new person. I want to spend eternity with you in heaven. Thank you for saving me right now. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

If you just prayed this prayer, please leave me a comment under Study Guide for Chapters 13 & 14 on my website: www.sarahjanekellogg.com and I will respond.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy, Christian Living

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTERS 11 & 12 ~ THE EXCHANGE AND THE LEGACY

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A note from the author: Get ready to be stretched. I believe the Holy Spirit is going to open up things that perhaps you have never seen before. When He does His wonderful work in us, He also stretches our ability to believe and our faith to receive. So, get ready!

1.  Bonus Points and Shopping Discounts (Chapter 11)

Who among us doesn’t enjoy bonus points and shopping discounts? I know I do. I find myself participating more just because of the perks. The younger generation call it “girl math,” and while the guys in the family are rolling their eyes, I totally get it!

In our modern world, such buying deals are called “an exchange.” We do one thing and the other party does another thing, and we both come away with some type of value. Chapter 11 in my book addresses the topic of exchange when it comes to our relationship with God. Let’s see if we can learn what kind of deal God made for us.

The most familiar exchange in the Bible is that of Jesus dying for our sins—if, we will give our earthly lives to Him. It is nearly an unbelievable exchange because the cost to Jesus was huge, and we get to go free. He was falsely accused, severely beaten, spat upon, and nailed to a wooden cross to die a criminal’s death while His Father in Heaven watched this horrific abuse as it happened.

Since there is no comparison in the cost of the two things that are being exchanged, it causes us to wonder why God agreed to such a deal. What was the reason God did this? There is only one answer—love! Let’s explore this in God’s Word.

Ephesians 1:4-5 (NLT) Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. 5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

Have you ever considered why God loves us so much? Explain your answer.

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2.  Let’s Talk about Love (Chapter 11)

I believe love is the greatest need in the human heart. And, since we are made in God’s own image, then love is also the greatest need in God’s heart. The thing we don’t understand about love is that it is always costly. In fact, every time we open ourselves up to love, we are also opening ourselves up to pain—including God.

In my book I quote the line from Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s poem, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” You see, love is so amazing that it is worth the risk of the pain it could inflict upon us. Do we believe it is worth the risk? How about you, do you believe love is worth the pain of loss? Explain.

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The following statistics are mind-boggling, but it’s important that we consider them. Even if we all have a devastating story about love and loss, we will never understand the risk God took to create mankind and love us the way He does.

For starters, there are 8 billion people in the world today and the number of Christians is 2.4 billion. That yields a 30% chance of God being loved by His creations. But what about the 70% chance of God being rejected by those who don’t love Him? The pain would be more than double the size of the pleasure.

To carry that a little further, demographers say since the beginning of time 109 billion people have lived on earth. That plus the 8 billion living now equals 117 billion humans that have lived on earth. Using the 30% Christian to 70% Non-Christian ratio, God has been loved 35 billion times and rejected 82 billion times.

We simply cannot understand God’s pain. The cost to God in giving Jesus to die in our place was astronomical, but does God think it was worth it? In my book I made this statement: “God took the risk of loving us because the pain of loss does not outweigh the pleasure of love.”

Try wrapping your mind around that statement and decide if you believe it or not. Has loving someone cost you so much pain that you wouldn’t love again? Explain.

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I believe God took the risk of loving us and allowing Jesus to die in our place because He didn’t want an eternal heaven without us. Heaven would have been the loneliest place of all. So, He traded the perfect Son, the Prince of Heaven, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God in exchange for millions of ordinary, sin-stained, flawed and unworthy human beings that would love Him. Had God not done that, the outcome would have been very clear: No sacrifice—no saints! No blood—no brethren! No cross—no Christians!

“Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called the children of God.” 1 John 3:1a (NKJV)

As born-again believers, you and I are the reason God agreed to such a lopsided exchange. He did it for us! He did it for LOVE! The question we must ask ourselves is this: Can we meet part of the need for love in God’s heart today? Of course, we can.

3.  The Final Exchange (Chapter 11)

We have looked in depth at God’s love for mankind. Yet, someday when you and I come to the end of our journey, it will not be an issue of whether or not God has loved us—it will be an issue of whether or not we have loved God. God’s love can be found everywhere we look—every sunrise, every sunset, every tree, every flower, every raindrop, every newborn thing, every new day and every new beginning. His vast love speaks volumes to our hearts.

Yet, the raw truth when put on the balancing scale reveals God’s expressions of love far outweigh our expressions. We seem to be unhindered when it comes to cheering for our favorite football team or rock star; yet if we get a little over zealous in cheering for God, we could be shunned, if not ostracized. If someone lives a holy life dedicated to their Savior, they often are considered too far out there. It’s even true that those of us who love God fervently prefer to keep our emotions under wrap, just in case it upsets the unrighteous among us. What are your feelings about showing love for God publicly? Share your thoughts below.

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So, what can we do about this inequality of showing our love to and for God? After all, He is the One we should be concerned about. Here is a short writing by Gerhard Tersteegen, a German writer and theologian from the 16th century. It is written in first person; therefore, it is God Himself that is speaking to us:

Am I not enough, Mine own?

Enough Mine own for thee?…

Am I not enough Mine own?

I forever and alone,

I, needing thee?

It breaks my heart to think that we are so concerned about God loving us or others loving us, yet it hardly crosses our minds that the One who loves us most, needs us most. Have you ever considered God “needing” your love, your attention, your companionship? The closer we get to God in prayer and worship, the more He reveals to us that a genuine love relationship must go both ways. Love must be given and love must be received. Does anything come to mind that you could do or change that would help you express your love to the Lover of your soul?

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4.  What Kind of Legacy Do We Want to Leave? (Chapter 12)

It certainly seems as if our current world values are upside down. Values held dear by many generations are being tossed aside—but for what? I’m certain that legacy means different things to different people; but shouldn’t everybody think that a good legacy is leaving something behind that makes our world a better place to live?

Below is a list of “greater than” statements. See if you agree with each of them. Take them in slowly, pondering their value, and then circle agree or disagree.

Wisdom is greater than wealth. Agree or Disagree

Peace is greater than power. Agree or Disagree

Contentment is greater than fame. Agree or Disagree

Joy is greater than success. Agree or Disagree

Integrity is greater than position. Agree or Disagree

Love is greater than popularity. Agree or Disagree

Eternal life is greater than pleasure. Agree or Disagree

One thing that rings true for any generation is that those who teach must also be those who live by example. Would our world be better off if Christians (30% of us) lived by those seven statements? What if we changed what we are seeking most in life for what is of most value to our world? And what if we modeled just one of those seven statement each day—would not this world be a better place to live?

I sometimes wonder if today’s parents are trying to instill these values in the lives of their children, or are they leaving it to teachers, professors, and friends. Social media is a huge disruption in our ability to shape and train those entrusted to us. Yet, we must not throw in the towel and say, “It’s too hard. It’s not my responsibility. It’s not possible in this culture.”

I don’t know what your legacy plans are, but I do know that time is short. The psalmist prayed, “Teach us to realize the brevity of life.” Psalm 90:12 (NLT) If we don’t start now, then when?

I know that a great legacy starts with you, me, and any other person who gives God permission to use their lives. He has ideas and plans that we don’t know about unless we are talking to Him regularly. If you need ideas, then ask the Father and He will gladly answer you. If you aren’t sure what to teach your children, then ask Him that, too. He will lead you to His truths written in His Word, and His Word will never fail. That’s a promise.

Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, I have read many things in this study guide that have stirred my heart. I thank you for loving me when I don’t deserve it, and I am sorry that I have not returned my love to you. I want to do better at living a life that shows you and the world that I indeed love you. Teach me your truths and help me teach them to my children. I need your help. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy, Encouragement

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 10 ~ THE TRIUMPH

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A note from the author: You will find this chapter packed to the brim with powerful statements. In fact, it could be the most impactful and revealing chapter in my book. How fitting it is to be called “The Triumph!” Don’t dare to miss its message. ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Tragedy Demands A Triumph

If there was “the tragedy” that happened in my family (and there was), then there also has to be “the triumph,” or else the word “the” is misleading. The title alone leads us to believe that triumph is possible. But it was not only possible—it became a reality.

Perhaps triumph can be gained only by those who make it theirs—those who claim it and possess it. But before we come to any conclusions, let’s look at where this word triumph is used in the Bible.

2 Corinthians 2:14 (NKJV) ~ Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.

Did you catch that—the part about God always leading us in triumph in Christ?” And just where might God be leading us to? Let’s try another one of the Apostle Paul’s famous statements for the answer.

1 Corinthians 15:55-57 (NKJV) “O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?” 56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Here we see God as the Giver of victory—which sounds to me like a first cousin to the word triumph—and it is given to us through Jesus. Let’s check one more verse.

Romans 8:37 (NKJV) ~ Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

Now let’s gather up the most powerful words from these three verses: “leads us in triumph,” “gives us the victory,” and calls us “more than conquerors.” These are all promises of where God leads us, what God gave us, and what God calls us through His Son, Jesus Christ! To condense it even further, in God’s eyes we are seen as: triumphant, victorious conquerors! WOW! Since they are already given, that means we already have them. They are ours for the taking! So of course there is “The Triumph” in our story.

Since I am on a wordsmithing roll, I’m going to take it yet another step: There is not only life after tragedy, there is life after your tragedy. There is also triumph after your tragedy, and victory after your tragedy. Therefore, you are a triumphant, victorious conqueror after your tragedy! Hallelujah!

2. A Deeper Cause

You will find this sentence on page 86 of my book: “Our healing has a greater purpose than to simply stop our pain.” Doctors tell us that pain is a good thing. Why? Because pain tells us that something in our body isn’t normal.

God allows pain in our lives for the same purpose—most generally to point our focus to eternal matters. What He cares most about us is our souls. I suspect that most of us—or ALL of us—can say that pain in our bodies or hearts have been helpful to God in getting our attention. In short, God is more interested in where we will spend eternity than in our comfort here on earth.

Pain can cause us to turn to God—actually run to God—in desperation. When we finally turn to Him spiritually, our pain level will begin to subside because He is the Healer of the whole person—body, soul and spirit. It is in turning to God to heal our lives both inside and out, that we discover the pathway to wholeness and freedom from our pain.

Have you (or someone you know) suffered from a great loss, and their inward pain of heart and soul led them to turn to God? ___________

Did you (or they) find freedom from pain? ________________ Briefly describe that story.

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3.  Is a Comeback Possible for You?

One of the emotions I remember so well after the loss of my husband was the feeling of hopelessness that a comeback would never happen for me. Can you relate? __________ This next statement is one of those powerful truths from that chapter in my book. Read it carefully.

“How do deeply wounded people make a comeback? They do it one step at a time, with the help of their Creator.”

To make a comeback, there are necessary steps we must take, even if we don’t feel like it. First of all, we have to believe that triumph can be ours. If I had never taken steps to encourage my faith that I could make a comeback, triumph would not have been mine. Here are some things we can do to start the process of coming back from loss.

1) We get out of bed every day to face our new and different world.

2) We put one foot in front of the other to propel ourselves forward.

3) We have to make a conscious effort to stop listening to the lies of the enemy; in fact, you may have to change friends. See if you can add more to my list:

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I learned from my own personal grief that recovery is always a choice. Do you believe this? ____________ Why or why not?

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Grief is a healthy response to the hard places in life. We need to grieve in order to properly process our loss. No one should be criticized about the way they grieve or how long they grieve. Grief is a personal choice. Likewise, recovery is a choice.

Do you know someone who has not turned loose of grief? ______________ Do you think their choice has been a good one? ______________ Why or why not?

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4.  What Can We Do with Our Scars?

Another thing that lingers long even after we recover is our scars. Scars are a clear reminder of our loss and our pain. Do you see scars as a positive or a negative?

Why?  (This is a matter of personal preference, and neither answer is wrong.)

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When I think of scars, I generally think of Jesus’ nail-pierced hands and feet. Would you say that Jesus looks at His scars positively or negatively?

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Do you think Jesus’ scars remind Him of the excruciating pain He experienced while on the cross and says: “You weren’t worth that pain?” ______________

All I can say in response to that question is a great big “NEVER!” Jesus knew the price up front that He would have to pay in order to save us from the eternal penalty of death, and He chose to do it anyway.

I believe when He looks at His own scars, He thinks that you—every last one of you—were worth every ounce of pain He felt and every drop of blood He shed. I believe He smiles at His scars as He thinks of us—His rescued brothers and sisters!

5. Who Makes the Decision?

In my book I describe the life of a man named Charles Krauthammer. For years Charles was a news commentator on the Fox News Channel and sat at the news desk in a wheelchair. One would hardly notice his chair, unless you knew his story. While attending college, Charles was injured in a diving accident. Yet, in spite of his disabilities, he decided to finish college and then went on to become a doctor. Later, he chose to enter journalism where he won a Pulitzer Prize for his work. A few days before Charles died in 2018, he wrote to his friends and colleagues that he had no regrets—because he had lived the life he intended.

Without a doubt, Charles Krauthammer made a decision after suffering a life-altering tragedy—to live his life just as if the tragedy never happened. Here is a quote from this remarkable man, that gives us pause: “The catastrophe that awaits everyone from a single false move, wrong turn, fatal encounter—every life has such a moment. What distinguishes us is whether—and how—we ever come back.”

What about us? Have we made a decision to live as if our tragedy never happened? Have we decided to come back from tragedy and move forward? If not, then it seems to me that we have a decision to make, and no one can make it for us. I believe God sees our hearts and longs to help us do that very thing. He is fully committed to helping us do it—but He can’t and He won’t without our decision. What is your answer to one of the most important questions in your entire life? Write your thoughts, feelings, and commitments below.

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Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, I have been dragging my feet on getting back to living. I have felt sorry for myself; blamed others; maybe even you because my life has been altered. I want to move forward, but I totally need your help to do it. I now ask for your help, and I commit to taking whatever steps I need to take. Today is my day to start living again. In Jesus’ powerful Name I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy, Christian Growth, Encouragement

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 9 ~ THE WOUNDS

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A note from the author:  If you need a breakthrough in your life that can set you free, this study guide is for YOU! I can personally testify that what you read here can change your life, the path you are on, and the direction you are going! If you are suffering from tragedy and loss, these words will bring refreshment and healing to your wounded soul. What have you got to lose except your pain—why not give it a try? ~ Sarah Jane

1. How Jesus Deals with Our Wounds

The wounds that stay with us long after a significant life event are simply what I call “leftovers.” While leftovers from dinner may be desirable, the leftovers from close-up and personal tragic events are not. No way! But like all leftovers, we eventually have to deal with them.

My favorite Bible story about how Jesus treats a wounded person is found in Luke Chapter 10:30-37. Let’s go there.

30 Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. 31 “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. 32 A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.

33 “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. 34 Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. 35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’

36 “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked. 37 The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

In my book, There Is Life after Tragedy, on pages 76 & 77, I explained this story like this: I asked the readers to see Jesus as the Good Samaritan and themselves as the wounded person. That is a powerful way to personalize this story about Jesus and His care for us. In the following exercise, we will identify all of the things Jesus did for the wounded person—YOU.

As you read each of the sentences below, write your name in every blank.

1) Jesus saw _________________.

2) Jesus had compassion for __________________.

3) Jesus went to ____________________.

4) Jesus poured oil on ________________’s wounds.

5) Jesus bandaged ________________’s wounds.

6) Jesus carried ___________________ to a place of safety to recover.

7) In that place of restoration, Jesus was ______________’s caregiver.

8) Then, Jesus made arrangements for ______________’s short-term care by paying someone to provide the care.

9) Next, Jesus paid in advance for ________________’s long term care and promised to cover all future expenses.

WOW! How much more could Jesus have done to ensure that the wounded person recovered, or that you and I recover from our wounds? Nothing more, because His promises are as good as His actions. He cares deeply about healing our wounds.

2.  Why the Wounds?

In my book, I tackled why we have to suffer in life. Unless we have an extremely healthy family, we will all have to deal with the hardships that come with death and disease. And unless we ourselves die at a very early age, we will all have to bury a loved one. As hard as it is to believe, even as a Christian, suffering and death become a normal part of life.

In Chapter 9 of my book, I included a poetic writing that I wrote during my husband’s two-year battle with cancer. It was titled “Why the Wounds?” and is found on Pages 78 and 79. If the title suggests that God has good reason for our suffering, it’s because He does. I ended the poem with these words: “For out of the anguish of the soul, revelation is birthed.”

I’m sure you are thinking, “What does that mean? I thought God was a good God.” I’ll try to explain. In order for us to grow up and mature in this Christian life we are going to encounter pain, wounds, hard circumstances, loss, and yes, more pain. But each of those have a “silver-lining” tucked inside of it. It may take years of growth before we recognize what the “School of Hard Knocks” is all about, but we will eventually come out on the other side of our trials and realize that we have indeed grown. We now see more, know more, and love more than we did before, because revelation was birthed in us!

In the Chapter 1 Study Guide, Section 4, we recorded a “memory that still hurts.” Look back at Chapter 1 to find what you wrote down. Is it possible that your memory had a silver-living you didn’t see then; but later you realized that something better happened because of it? If you didn’t write down anything in Chapter 1, recall at least one event in your life that caused pain, yet later resulted in great value to your life. It could be as simple as not getting a job that you applied for, but instead, God led you to a better one. Briefly describe your experience.

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A baby doesn’t enter the world without pain to itself and also to its mother. Yet, painful births (i.e. trials; circumstances; changes) are something very valuable to us. But we must not forget to look for those eye-opening moments that make a huge deposit into our lives. However, if we stay locked in self-pity and angry at God, we will miss the revelation He intended for us to receive.

3. Climbing Higher in God

If we can accept that God uses our pain to bring about change in our lives, then our part is to be receptive to what He is doing in us. That brings us to this thought-provoking question: “Have I ever used my pain to climb to a higher place in God?” My answer has been “Yes” many times, because I learned over time to trust God with my suffering, my losses, and my pain. I bet you have too.

A higher place in God simply means we are now in a better position to see what is happening around us. In other words, we get a better view from up there! The response of saying, “God, I’m content right where I am,” doesn’t work out well. God has a passionate heart of love for each of His children, and His eternal goal is to shape us into the image of His Son, Jesus. In fact, refusal to cooperate with the Creator of your life, will only cause Him to pursue you relentlessly until you yield to His shaping. This will become clear as we read Hebrews Chapter 12:5-6a.

5 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. 6 For the Lord disciplines those he loves….”

Do you have a story of God’s careful shaping of your life as His beloved child that brought you to a higher place of understanding and blessing? If so, write it below.

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4.  Identify Theft ~ How Can We Prevent It?

One of Satan’s greatest tricks against us when we are wounded is to separate us from our true identity in Christ. He tries to convince us that God doesn’t love us or this wouldn’t have happened. Or he uses the age-old condemnation trick of telling us that we are hopeless, useless, and actually lost from God. If he can get a foothold into our lives, be assured that he will steal our true identity, kill us by drowning us in grief, and destroy any proof that we are a child of God. Did you get that? The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy! (John 10:10)

Satan did that to me and I spent months drowning in sorrow and self-pity. And then one day, I got mad at that thief and started fighting back. I wrote down all the positive things that I am—my true identify in Christ Jesus! And then I read it to the devil himself. As my faith began to rise up on the inside of me, I took back my identity and my life! And you can too! Below describes who I am when I am holding the Hand of God. (Pages 82–83 in There Is Life after Tragedy)

HOLDING THE HAND OF GOD

The road may be rocky, but I’ll not stumble. Fiery darts may be hurdled, but they’ll not penetrate my life. Storm clouds may darken the sky, but I’ll come out on the other side. The whole world may look hopeless, but it is not my home. For I shall run and not be weary; I shall walk and not faint, while holding the hand of God.

Therefore, my hope is sure. My light is shining. My way is bright. My heart is steady. My faith is strong. My peace is unexplainable. And my world is safe, while holding the hand of God.

My will is surrendered. My motives are pure. My vision is clear. My mind is set. My purpose is determined. My goal is reachable. And my agenda is His agenda, while holding the hand of God.

My strength is renewed. My wisdom is from above. My thoughts are just. My words are full of grace. My meditations are acceptable. My song is filled with praise. And my only desire is to please Him, while holding the hand of God.

Dear One, my heart hurts for you. I know what it feels like to have the world spinning around you, and you desperately need for it to stop. But you now know that God cares about you, and you have powerful scriptures that tell you He loves you, He cares about your wounds, and the enemy cannot have your identity. So, encourage yourself, and claim a breakthrough right now in Jesus’s powerful name, and He will hear and answer you!

Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, only you know the deep wounds in my life and how desperately I need your help. I believe the scriptures that I read above, and I want to be healed from all of my brokenness. I call out to you to heal me, and today I reclaim my identity: I am a Child of God! I am yours and you are mine. Thank you for loving me and answering my prayer. In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy, Christian Growth, Encouragement

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 8 ~ THE PURPOSE

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A note from the author:  If there is one study guide that has the potential to reach into your broken heart and bring healing to your life—it is this one. Please read it closely and intently. Please watch the special video section. I am praying for you to find the answers you have long sought after. This could be your day for wholeness! ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Can There Be Purpose in Tragedy?

Finding purpose is perhaps the hardest thing to handle after a tragedy. We would likely think: What purpose could this tragedy possibly have? Obviously, there is no good thing anywhere to be found here.

Yet, we know that absolutely nothing misses the eyes of God. He is the only One who can see over the horizon and know where this event can stir the hearts of people. His greatest goal is always to get the attention of the lost among us—the eternally lost members of mankind.

Those who have been closely impacted by a tragedy will struggle to see any good from it whatsoever. However, God’s Word tells us what was meant for evil, He can use for good. In this lesson we will take a close-up look at the tragic story of young Joseph and see what we can learn about God’s ability to use tragedy for good. This concept is sure to stretch us—but that’s okay. God is always stretching us to make us more like Jesus.

2. The Tragic Story of Joseph

The story of Joseph, son of Jacob, grandson of Issac, and great grandson of Abraham, is told in Genesis Chapters 37 through 50. It is a story of jealousy, revenge and evil, but also a story of kindness, forgiveness, and love. Joseph was the favorite of the twelve sons of Jacob. His father loved him very much, and all the others knew it. To make things worse, Joseph began having spiritual dreams about who he would someday be, yet bragging to his brothers didn’t work out so well. In hatred and spite, they wanted to kill him; but one brother talked them into sparing his life and selling him to slave traders.

Young Joseph found himself in the land of Egypt as a slave, far away from his beloved-child status. Yet, everything he touched worked in his favor—until one day it didn’t. Still, Joseph never forgot His God. He landed in prison for many years because of false accusations against him. Yet, regardless of Joseph’s living conditions, God never changed His plan to use him for a big assignment—to save the known world from famine. The very dreams Joseph had been given as a young lad eventually became reality. Joseph was made the Prime Minister of Egypt, where he oversaw a seven-year plan to store up food for a seven-year famine.

The tragedy of Joseph’s life included being separated from his beloved father and only full-blood brother, Benjamin, and living the life of a slave. After he was thrown in prison, he likely thought his life was doomed. One would think that everything optimistic about Joseph’s future had been thwarted. But God always has another plan even when it seems that the great enemy of our soul has won.

After the death of Joseph’s father, his brothers feared that Joseph would take revenge on them and their families. That is where we will pick up the story in Genesis Chapter 50:15-21 in the New Living Translation.

15 But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said. 16 So they sent this message to Joseph: “Before your father died, he instructed us 17 to say to you: ‘Please forgive your brothers for the great wrong they did to you—for their sin in treating you so cruelly.’ So we, the servants of the God of your father, beg you to forgive our sin.” When Joseph received the message, he broke down and wept. 18 Then his brothers came and threw themselves down before Joseph. “Look, we are your slaves!” they said. 19 But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. 21 No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So, he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.

Did you notice how Joseph described his life that had certainly gone amuck? Did you hear any resentment or revenge in his response to his guilty brothers? Did you hear any words of bitterness in his assessment of the lemons in life that he had been handed? You’ve probably heard the statement about lemons: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

What did Joseph do with his lemons?

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What do you think his brothers deserved?

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3. Finding Purpose in Hard Things

I do not intend to make light of tragedy in any way, because there’s nothing light about it. The tragedies in Joseph’s life could have caused years of hatred for his brothers; an incessant desire to get revenge; and a permanent root of bitterness. Let’s also remember that because of Joseph’s high position in Egypt, he had the power to have all of his brothers executed. But that is not what Joseph did.

Joseph took the exact opposite route in dealing with his lemons: he looked to God. He recognized that God had good intentions for all of the intense training he encountered as a slave. He literally said, “He (God) brought me to this position.” Lastly, Joseph added purpose to his pain and suffering: “So I could save the lives of many people.”

Do you think that Joseph was just another superhero in the Bible, or do you think all of God’s chosen ones have the same opportunity to make the choices that Joseph made? Explain your answer.

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Finding purpose in a tragedy is difficult to say the least, but it is doable. Yet, it won’t come to us unless we have this one thing: a change in perspective. Having a change in perspective basically depends on how we process what happens to us. For instance, it isn’t uncommon for a person to accept a victim mentality about their life’s lemons. They truly see themselves as a victim.

It’s somewhat like Eeyore in the Winnie the Pooh stories. Eeyore was an old grey stuffed donkey who was down about everything—the weather, the seasons, the neighbors, and even his friends. His pessimistic, gloomy disposition showed up in every conversation he had. And if we are not careful, we can have the same perspective about life as Eeyore had.

But I have good news for every one of us—be it those who survived tragedy or those who are simply disillusioned with life. God did not do any of the things that caused your tragedy or your unfortunate circumstances. God is good all the time, and we can take that to the bank. In fact, if God is good all the time, then bad things that happen to us cannot be a result of God being not good. That’s impossible! Yet, the enemy of our souls continually thinks up bad things to do to us, just like Joseph’s brothers did.

Fortunately, in God’s Word we find out what is really happening to us, as well as what we can do about it. Let’s look at 1 Peter 5:8-9 NLT ~ “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.”

Did you get that? You are not the only one suffering at the hands of the enemy! And there is something you can do about it. We are to stand firm, be strong, and use our faith! God’s Word is energized by the power of the Holy Spirit and when we claim it for ourselves and walk in it, we can have the same overcoming perspective as Joseph had. He moved from being a victim to being a powerful witness for the goodness of God!

My paraphrased version of Joseph’s perspective goes like this: “It’s okay what you guys did to me. You meant it for evil, but hey, God had a greater purpose for my life. He used your ill-treatment to train me and prepare me for the 2nd highest job in the known world, in order to save the lives of many people!” Read that again.

4.  Special Video Section:

Dear ones, if you can grasp the power available to you through God’s Word and His great love for you, you can start to see your tragedy in a whole new light. Below is a link to a five-minute video by Joyce Meyer, that is one of the greatest testimonies of a modern-day application of God’s power that I have ever heard.

I have read about and watched Joyce’s testimony about being sexually abused by her father repeatedly as a child and a teenager. Yet this particular video takes us beyond her pain and opens to us the mighty work of restoration that God performed in her life. I include it not only as hope for those who have suffered at the hands of another person, but also for those who have thought God handed them lemons and they are stuck with them. But God didn’t do it, and we are never stuck with what the devil intended for evil. Be sure to watch it to the end. The following link can be clicked on or copied into your browser.

Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, you and you alone know the deepest hurts in my heart. I have suffered for many years and feared that I can never be free from this pain. But today, I see a light at the end of the tunnel that I have never seen before. For the first time, I have hope that you see me and love me, and you have a plan to restore my life. I ask you to do just that—today. Send me the person or people that can help me start toward the new pain-free future that you have planned for me. I thank you now for this powerful new truth in my life. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy, Encouragement

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 7 ~ THE SURVIVORS

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A note from the author: Few people realize what is waiting for them days, weeks, months, and even years after a loss. It’s strange how others attend the funeral and then quickly move on with their lives. That is not the case for close family members. To survive they need fresh air, fresh surroundings, and certainly, fresh hope. So, let’s tackle loss and loneliness with some fresh ideas. ~ Sarah Jane

1.  Defining A Survivor: What does that look like?

“A person alive after an event in which others have died,” is how the Oxford Dictionary defines a survivor. The word alive is quite an optimistic description of a person who feels so much not alive after a tragic event. It is true when someone we love dies, our emotions can range from total numbness to having no desire to live, or perhaps even considering suicide. I think rather than using the word alive, the person could better be defined as “someone still breathing,” and even that is a bit of a stretch.

The word aloneness brings its own mixed bag of emotions as well. Survivors often crave to be alone; yet in attempting to live again, they find themselves alone much of the time. That is where God’s promise to never leave us or forsake us is a powerful antidote to the rejection one feels who has survived, even though they may wish they hadn’t. Antidote means a cure, a remedy, or a solution. Isn’t that we are searching for—a way to break the grief and sorrow off our lives? How would you describe what needs to be broken off your own life—the thing for which you most need an antidote? (This doesn’t have to be about the loss of a loved one.)

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2. We Are Not Alone In Our Grief

For our scripture reading, we are going to start with a story found in the book of Ruth, a small four-chapter book sandwiched between Judges and 1 Samuel. Let’s begin with Ruth 1:1-5.

Ruth 1:1 ~ In the days when the judges ruled in Israel, a severe famine came upon the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah left his home and went to live in the country of Moab, taking his wife and two sons with him. 2 The man’s name was Elimelech, and his wife was Naomi. Their two sons were Mahlon and Kilion…. And when they reached Moab, they settled there. 3 Then Elimelech died, and Naomi was left with her two sons. 4 The two sons married Moabite women. One married a woman named Orpah, and the other a woman named Ruth. But about ten years later, 5 both Mahlon and Kilion died. This left Naomi alone, without her two sons or her husband.

For starters, do you see why Naomi might feel “not alive” and “alone?” How does one lose their entire family in just five short verses? Certainly, Naomi had a full license to grieve, feel sorry for herself, and have no desire to live. But a child of God is never without hope. God always has a plan and Noami’s story will prove that to us.

The full story is contained within the four chapters of the book of Ruth, and it is well worth reading. However, I am going to point out a few choice verses that helps us gain an understanding of the pain and grief that gripped Naomi’s heart.

Ruth 1:6-13 ~ Then Naomi heard in Moab that the Lord had blessed his people in Judah by giving them good crops again. So Naomi and her daughters-in-law got ready to leave Moab to return to her homeland…. 8 But on the way, Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back to your mothers’ homes….9 May the Lord bless you with the security of another marriage”.…13 Things are far more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord himself has raised his fist against me.”

Orpah takes Naomi’s advice and returns to her family back in Moab. But Ruth commits to going on to Judah to be Naomi’s family and serve Naomi’s God.

Ruth 1:19-21~ So the two of them continued on their journey. When they came to Bethlehem, the entire town was excited by their arrival. “Is it really Naomi?” the women asked. 20 “Don’t call me Naomi,” she responded. “Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. 21 I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty. Why call me Naomi when the Lord has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me?”

Is it just me, or do you hear hopelessness in Naomi’s words? What else do you hear?

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I truly feel her grief and believe that she is burdened down with it. Could we safely say that Naomi needs an antidote? __________

As you finish reading this beautiful story of Naomi and Ruth, you will discover that God absolutely had an antidote awaiting Naomi in her homeland. God’s plan included a family-redeemer or kinsman-redeemer named Boaz who buys the land owned by Naomi’s husband from her. Along with redeeming the land, he was required to marry Ruth. Naomi soon has a grandson, Obed, sitting on her lap that she cared for as her own. He grew up to become the father of Jesse, who was the father of King David. In short, Naomi’s grandson was in the royal lineage of Jesus. I think it is safe to say that Naomi was indeed a survivor!

3. What To Do When God Goes Silent

The devastation that occurred in Naomi’s life may have been told in five short verses of scripture, but her story played out in real time as years upon years of sadness, sorrow and lack of hope. Perhaps our trials in life will never be anything like what Naomi endured, but we will have our share because Jesus Himself told us clearly, “In this world you will have tribulation.”

For me personally, I struggle the most when it seems as though God goes silent and I am left to handle things by faith and trust alone (as if those two aren’t mighty weapons in our arsenal). I suppose that we all prefer for God to hold our hand, put His arm around our shoulder and say, “Come to me and I’ll fix all of this for you.” But that is not how it works in this world. Faith and trust are great companions, yet they don’t always include the warm fuzzy feelings we’d like to have.

If you are a fan of the Devotional Book “Jesus Calling,” by Sarah Young, you are well acquainted with reading words that are written as though God Himself said them. I want to use that same “first person” approach with the following paragraph. My goal is that you can hear what God would say directly to you about feelings.

“My Child, feelings come and go. They are subject to good days and bad days, sunshine and rain, life and death, wealth and poverty. Yet, My Word is not subject to anything. My Word will stand forever and you can trust it throughout all eternity. So don’t try to tie me down to responding to your feelings. I respond to those who know My name, hear My voice, and trust that I will do what I say I will do. Feelings are not a part of the walking-by-faith process. Trust must always be your response, even to My silence. We can work together with that combination: My trustworthiness and your trust in Me.” ~ God

I hope that this paragraph spoke clearly to your heart, because there are powerful truths within it. Feelings, especially good ones, have their place; yet they are never a good measuring stick for how God deals with His children.

4. Becoming A Survivor Is Always a Choice

The most helpful thing we can do for someone struggling to survive the aftermath of tragedy (including yourself) is to give them hope. We must all have hope, even in small things. Hope that the sun will come up tomorrow. Hope that this too will pass. Hope that God cares about me. God’s Word is full of hope and we can share it in tender, loving ways. We can all encourage one another with hope.

God doesn’t call all of us to be counselors, but He does call all of us to be encouragers. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “So encourage each other and build each other up….” Being an encourager is our role in the lives of our brothers and sisters in Christ. We can also encourage ourselves, which will be covered in Chapter 9.

Giving hope and encouragement doesn’t have to be expensive, because in reality, what hurting and lonely people need most is love, friendship, and compassion. Understanding someone’s condition of loss and loneliness is the greatest gift you can ever give to them. And, remember to give yourself some compassion, too!

List some of the ways we can bring hope and encouragement to each other. While prayer is certainly a good answer, let’s try to think outside the box of our ordinary ideas. Remember, God has a reputation of goodness. Psalm 23:6 says, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life….” What might you pull out of God’s storehouse of good things to give to a lost and lonely soul? Who knows, your fresh idea might trigger an antidote for their life!

A few examples are listed here, but add your own thoughts and ideas to the list.

1) Take a depressed friend for a day out, or order lunch for the two of you and take it to their home to share it together.

2) Invite a lonely friend to share in your own family’s holiday celebration. They may not come, but at least they will have felt included.

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Whatever you do, do it with the love of Jesus as your source. You can’t go wrong when you listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit and include Him in your plans.

If you are the person who is hurting or lonely, encouraging another hurting or lonely friend can be the best therapy you could ask for. Try it, and see what the Holy Spirit does in YOU. And when you give hope and encouragement to others, you take being a survivor to a whole new level!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I am so thankful that you care deeply about me and my needs, as well as all hurting people everywhere. I want to be a survivor, and today I choose to be a survivor. I want to be an encourager to others, and I ask your Holy Spirit to guide me as I develop a plan to reach out and help someone else. In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 6 ~ THE AFTERMATH

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A note from the author: I have spent the past five posts preparing us for the hard stuff—how to deal with the effects of tragedy. There is no easy path, no cut-and-dried process, and no set-in-stone way to deal with it. Yet, for the child of God, there is God’s way to face the devastating events in life. In this guide we will attempt to unpack God’s truths for us. Let’s do it! ~ Sarah Jane

1.  What Does Aftermath Mean Anyway?

Up until this one, the previous lessons have flowed easily from my heart. I did not have to search for ideas, content, or questions that brought rhyme and reason to the topic to be discussed. They were just there—right on the tips of my fingers as I typed. So why is this chapter different? Could it be because none of us want to talk about painful things?

In my book, There Is Life after Tragedy, I started Chapter 6 with the following words: “Aftermath seems like an ugly word to me….” If you have suffered a great loss of life, you know exactly why aftermath is an ugly word. For those who have endured one or more deaths at the same time, the ugliness is multiplied many times over. Tragedy can exponentially increase the pain and heartbreak as the reality of the loss soaks into our hearts and minds. In short, it is indeed ugly.

Do you know any other descriptive words that clearly depict aftermath?

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Although aftermath is ugly, it is also normal and necessary. We will all have to deal with aftermath someday, even for the loss of a loved one who dies of old age. Why? Because loss of life always forces us to face the “What’s next for me?” question. The many changes and challenges that lie ahead make up a large portion of the aftermath. What used to be is no longer. Who used to be with us is not here anymore. In fact, for many people, everything changes.

On page 46 of my book, I listed fifteen unpleasant things that humans have to deal with that create an aftermath in our lives. Things such as death, accidents, divorce, coronavirus, etc. However, I have come to realize that the list is not a complete list, and I’m not sure there is a complete list. Perhaps that is why the last line of my list says: “after, after, after….”

What gut-wrenching life events could you add to my list?

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The Oxford Dictionary defines aftermath as “consequences of a significant unpleasant event.” While we may not classify all losses as tragic, we must understand that tragedy comes in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes we have to clean up a mess someone else made, and sometimes we have to clean up our own mess. Regardless, we all need one thing in order to survive the aftermath—God!

2.  We Are Never Alone

God never expects His children to go through any part of life by ourselves. We always have His Presence with us. We always have His Peace inside us. We always have His Grace covering us. If we have asked Jesus to save us and send the Holy Spirit to come and live in our hearts, then He did both of those things. The truth is that we are truly never alone! Our challenge is to learn how to tap into that Source that indwells all believers.

To get over this mountain called aftermath, we simply must lean on God’s promises to get us there. He means what He says, and we can trust what He says in the darkest hours of life. If He fails us there, how can we trust Him with our eternal destiny? It is a rock-solid, iron-clad truth that God’s Word never fails!

What can you do right now to get that one issue settled in your heart and mind once and for all?

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For our scripture reading for this lesson, I want us to look at Isaiah 43:1-3a. I have included it below from the New Living Translation.

1 But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.

2 When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

3 For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

If we read Isaiah’s life story, we would realize that he had firsthand knowledge about deep waters, rivers of difficulty, and the fires of oppression. He was certainly validated to write about such hard things. His words of comfort to us in these verses are encouraging to say the least. The truth is that Isaiah knew these statements by experience because he had trusted in God for survival and God did not fail him.

Have you ever had a situation in your life when you trusted in God and then experienced His divine help where you were not afraid, not alone, didn’t drown, or were not consumed by your trials? Those kinds of experiences are truly a hallmark of our faith in a Faithful God. Briefly list one or more those experiences below.

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3. What’s So Amazing About Grace?

Obviously, I believe that God’s grace is amazing since I donated over two full pages to that subject in my book. Actually, grace is a big deal. Without it we would all be in big trouble—in this world and in eternity. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.”

Grace is a gift God has chosen to give to His children. We cannot earn it, buy it, steal it, borrow it, or con God out of it. All we can do is ask for it, believe He says “yes” to our prayers, receive it by faith, and testify to what He has given to us. In real terms, God gives us grace because He wants to.

When it comes to receiving God’s help to survive an aftermath, our greatest ally is grace. It is freely supplied to those who ask Him for it. You may be thinking—but how do we receive this grace; how do we make it ours? The answer is clear: we receive grace exactly the same way we got saved—by faith! We will receive grace through faith, making faith the vehicle by which grace becomes a reality in our lives.

We’ve already settled the fact that God cannot lie. Since God is incapable of breaking a promise, then any disconnect must be on our end. When we think He is silent, think again. God doesn’t have to use words—His presence, peace, grace, and love all speak volumes to our hurting souls. So, in those times when it seems as though God is silent, we must use our faith to stir our faith!

But how do we use our faith to stir our faith? It’s basically quite simple. If you are a born-again believer is Jesus Christ, you only got there one way—by faith, as discussed above in Ephesians 2:8-9. Read this next sentence very carefully: you already have faith inside of you. It just needs to be activated once again—stirred up, if you will. You don’t need to start asking God for something you already have. We simply recall or bring to our remembrance the times He has blessed us, answered our prayers, and showed up just in time. Our trust in Him is what God responds to—not begging! Tell Him you trust Him, and mean it. Practice doing what you did at least once in your life. Then practice it again, and watch Him smile down some grace on you, along with hope, comfort and strength in your dark moments. It is true—grace is amazing!

Think of a current issue that is difficult for you to manage. Why not ask God for His amazing grace to help you get through this time? Briefly identify it here, and later come back and record what God did for you.

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Record follow up here:

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If you have never asked Jesus to forgive you for your sins and give you eternal life, why not ask Him right now? He is always ready and willing to answer that prayer, and He will come into your heart and save you. Next, share your decision with another Christian. You can also leave me a comment in the comment section, and I will respond to you.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I am learning just how much I need you, and that you are more than willing to help me through the difficult times. I am grateful for your faithfulness and no matter how hard life looks, I am never alone and your amazing grace is always available to me. With every trial that comes my way, my faith is growing and getting stronger. I long to trust you more. Help me remember to ask for your help, believe I will receive it, and give you thanks in everything. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen. 

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 5 ~ THE GRANDPARENTS I NEVER KNEW

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A note from the author: This Study Guide digs even deeper into who we are and why it’s important to know where we came from. Our roots matter. We will also learn what God said about passing down our beliefs and values to the next generation. Most importantly, I hope you are inspired to ask your family members what only they can tell you—before it’s too late. ~ Sarah Jane 

1.  Why We Need to Know “Our People”

I have known several families that adopted children. In every case, there came a time in that adopted child’s life that he or she desired to find his or her birth parents. Their stories are often exciting, heart-warming, and result in great relationships for the remainder of their lives—but not always. Some searches do not turn out good at all, and actually leave the child wishing they had never tried to connect.

Regardless of how it turns out, there is something within us as human beings that causes us to need or want to know where we came from. Maybe it is part of our DNA that God put inside us that initiates a deep need for belonging. As I began to unpack my family’s 70-year-old tragedy, I hadn’t thought about what I would learn beyond the shock and the pain of it all. But God had a golden nugget tucked inside my efforts to learn the true story about the grandparents I never knew.

I was impressed with how my first cousins, all in their eighties, remembered so many little things about our shared grandparents. There were precious details that I never dreamed I would hear with my own ears. If I had not decided to ask the questions, my grandparents would have remained unknown strangers to me. Yet, because of my cousins’ willingness to tell me what they knew, I believe I will know my grandparents when I get to heaven.

In the information gathering process, I came to believe that it is up to us—all of us—to keep the memories of our people alive. After all, isn’t that what we want the next generation to do—remember us and tell their children about us as well? How about you—do you want to be remembered by your kids, grandkids, and even those born after you are gone? __________Why or why not?

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2.  The Benefits of Knowing Our Roots

I believe we can know ourselves better if we know where we came from. Isn’t knowing ourselves perhaps our greatest need, other than knowing God? Have you ever asked a family member this question, “Why am I like this? ”__________ If so, what did you learn by asking?

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One of the first things doctors do when we become their patient is to ask a lot of questions about us and our family—be it our primary care physician, our specialists, or mental health providers. And why do they do this? Because our family history is of great benefit to them in knowing what to look for and treat.

The same principles apply when we’re asked questions like: What do we want to be when we grow up? Do we plan to go to college and where? Do we attend church and if so, where? Why do we live in the city, or why do we prefer the wide-open spaces? Simple facts about us and our family tells others who we are. On a lighter note, families often drive the same make of vehicles. My family was clearly a Ford Family, and all of us knew it and passed down that tradition.

Can you think of things that your clan exhibits from generation to generation? List them here.

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Our scripture selection for this lesson is Deuteronomy 11:18-21. Here we find God talking to the children of Israel as they were on the brink of entering the Promised Land. He gave them clear instructions about how they were to obey His commands and how they were to teach their children those very same commands.

18 “Therefore, you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 20 And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, 21 that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.”

What did you see or hear in those scriptures that was new to you?

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One thing we can see in these verses is that God’s words of instruction were not only for themselves, but they were also for their children. Additionally, we can also see that the benefits were not only for themselves, but they were also for their children. If you look closely at families you know, you will likely see the same behaviors and beliefs in their children as they themselves have and live by. This is not by chance, but it is by God’s design.

However, there are benefits in knowing our roots, whether our family is good or not-so-good. If yours is a good family, then all is well and the values can be passed down to the next generations. But if your family is not-so-good, and your eyes are opened to see it, you can decide to reach for a better way of life. Your generation can be the beginning of a new way to live with a new set of values. Sure, it will be hard and perhaps at times seem impossible, but it is true nonetheless.

Have you or someone you know made a choice to live a better lifestyle than the one you/they grew up with? If so, were you/they successful? Explain.

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3.  Sharing Memories Can Be Healthy

It is no surprise to any of us that television, technology, computers, and social media have greatly damaged family life. A quick Google search brought up this statistic:

“Family therapist Anne Fishel says only about 30% of families regularly eat dinner together, despite family meal time being hugely beneficial for kids.”

As a result, families are not talking to each other! I clearly remember my family sitting around the dinner table and discussing the events of the day. It was the same with my children and my grandchildren—and we all look forward to mealtime. Good food and good conversation are the highlight of our visits together.

The basic reason to study the Bible is to learn God’s plan for us in eternity—and not just eternity, but right here on earth. It tells us how to find peace of mind and soul in a relationship with Him, but also ways to interact with our family, friends, neighbors, or co-workers. The Bible, is the place to learn how to treat those He places in our lives. Every person is a valuable human being because God created each one of us, and every person has a reason for being on earth. Therefore, every person has a story to tell. To prove that sentence, ask yourself, “Do I have a story to tell?” __________ Would I like to share it with a family member that cares to hear it? ___________ Write a brief summary about that story below.

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As a mental exercise, think about members of your family, who are already gone from this life, that you wish you knew more about. Is it a possibility that some of your aunts, uncles, or cousins know the story of that person and would be willing to share it with you? ___________ Are you courageous enough to ask? ___________

I think it is sad when great people who lived great lives are never honored for what they have done except at their funeral. You and I are currently watching “the greatest generation on earth” die right before our eyes. There isn’t a lot of time left to capture stories from those brave men and women who fought in WWII. Here are the statistics in 2024:

16 million Americans served in WWII; only 119,000 of them are still living today; and they are dying at a staggering rate of 131 per day.

Do you know someone who has a heroic or a great story to tell that you would love to hear? __________Who? _________________________________

What prevents you from asking them?

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What are some words you could use to start that conversation—maybe things you think would interest them, or encourage them, or bless them? A good example could be something like “What was school like when you were a kid?” Or “What was your first job?” Others may be more personal, such as “Would you share your faith story with me?” Or “How did you meet Grandma/Grandpa?” There are dozens of topics most older people like to talk about. List your ideas here:

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If you were to write your own story someday, I hope you won’t have a chapter like mine: The Grandparents I Never Knew. I didn’t have a choice, but you possibly do. I believe there are many amazing men and women in each of our lives who would be overjoyed to share their stories. So, what if we turn off the TV, close the laptop, put down our phones, and focus on where we are and who we are with? We might just make someone’s day. I promise, you’ll cherish that time. You can thank me later.

Prayer:  Heavenly Father, I am grateful for the earthly family that you placed me in, even if it isn’t as good as I’d like for it to be. We are still your offspring and have a purpose for being on earth. With your help, I believe I can reach for a better lifestyle than the one I am living now. Knowing my family roots and traditions are important so I can know which ones to keep and which ones to replace. Help me learn from your Word how to walk with you and then teach that to my children. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 4 ~ THE FAMILY I KNEW

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A note from the author: This Study Guide will take us to new places we may have never thought about going. We will likely learn new things about ourselves, but even more about our family. We all have one; and whether we like them or not, we are like them in many ways. You will also find some ideas on how to mend the fences with your people. So, let’s get going! ~Sarah Jane

1.  Who Are Our People?

We all have what we call our people, our tribe, or our clan. The most common term is simply our relatives, for those with whom we are biologically related. We also know this group of human beings as kinfolks, because we are kin by blood. We share many things with these individuals—mainly, but certainly not limited to, the blood that runs through our veins. We also share genetics, physical features, good or not-so-good looks, and temperaments. Oh, but it goes even further than that—there are talents such as being able to sing, dance or play an instrument that can be traced back to our kinfolks. Equally true, the qualities of high intelligence or exceptional athletic capabilities also run in families. Further still, we often hold the same religious views, political views, and societal views.

Whether we like our kinfolks or not, we are like them in many ways. There were several things I discovered about my family during the data gathering process for my book that I did not know beforehand. I did not know that almost every member of my dad’s family played a musical instrument. All I knew was that I loved music with every fiber of my being. I guess I thought everybody loved music as much as I did—after all, what’s not to love about music?

Is there something about YOU (a trait, skill or desire) that you wonder where in the world it came from? __________ Describe it below.

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I must ask: Have you looked around at your kinfolks? __________________________________________________________________

2.  Childhood Memories

Childhood memories are something we all have. I have wonderful memories as a child growing up around my people, and I cherish them even more today now that I’ve written about them. But good or bad, our memories are what they are. If yours are not so good, I encourage you to face them with courage. You can’t change your memories, but by addressing them, you may see some things differently now that you are an adult.

Without disclosing any facts about your hurtful memories, make a note here of a memory you possibly need to face.

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Some people keep bad memories suppressed for years. That is generally not a good idea as it can eventually lead to mental anguish that pushes individuals to carry out revenge on family members, co-workers, and even innocent people. I recommend getting professional help, be it through a counselor, pastor, or friend. Life is too short not to live it to the fullest. God wants His children to live in total freedom from our sin, our past, and our bad memories. Let’s look at two chain-breaking statements Jesus made while He was on earth.

John 8:32 “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Jesus deeply cares about our freedom. He knows that truth has inherent qualities when brought into the light of His love that can bring freedom to our lives. It is knowledge of the truth that breaks off our chains. Listening to and believing lies does the exact opposite.

John 8:36 “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

Here Jesus heralds Himself as the Master over bondages, chains, addictions, lies, deceit, half-truths or any other life-suffocating obstacles. And He announces that if He sets us free from any of those relentless monsters, we will truly be free!

Rewrite these two scriptures and insert the pronouns I and me in the place of you.

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3.  Strained Relationships ~ What Can We Do?

For more than four decades, I have been friends with a family of five daughters. I have watched them live in close proximity to one another and their parents. Not once have I known of a dispute among any of them, nor one bad word spoken about another. They live life together, and some have worked together. They share the responsibility of taking care of elderly parents and do it well. They truly earn a five-star rating in my mind, and they are greatly admired as a family by anyone who knows them. But unfortunately, they are not the norm. It isn’t uncommon to have issues with our people. So, what can we do about our strained relationships?

While some bad behaviors are intentional, a large part of family issues are caused by misunderstandings. The enemy of our souls continually spins and spreads half-truths. If not dealt with, these misunderstandings can change a molehill into a mountain. The longer they are allowed to go unchecked, the bigger the issue becomes. It is often necessary to “eat crow” to get some issues resolved; yet I believe in most cases our people are worth the effort to restore the relationship.

If you think your family’s issues are over-the-top, think again. Let’s look at several examples of family issues from the Bible to see if they were all perfect people with perfect relationships.

Cain and Abel, sons of Adam and Eve and the first two siblings on earth: Cain was jealous of Abel, so he killed him. Not so good, huh? (Genesis 4:1-8)

Isaac and Ishmael, the half-brothers of Abraham: Descendants of both of these men claim they are from the son of promise that God gave to Abraham. This battle still rages today in the Middle East. (Genesis 15:1-8; Chapters 16; 17; and 21:1-21)

Jacob and Esau, the twin brothers of Isaac and Rebecca: Jacob, the younger brother, stole his older brother’s birthright. That is a really big deal in Jewish families. (Genesis 25:19-34)

Joseph and his 11 brothers, the sons of Jacob: The brothers were jealous of Joseph because he was their father’s favorite, so they sold him into slavery. The twelve sons of Jacob were born to four different mothers. Want to talk about a challenge? (Genesis 37:1-36)

These examples are from just the first book of the Bible! But in case you thought your family situation is the absolute worst, these stories should help put things into perspective. Dysfunctional families have been around since the get-go!

4.  How Do We Move Toward Reconciliation?

Sections A through D below are good ideas that could help you resolve some issues with family members. They are certainly not to replace professional help, but rather to provide some simple keys that work for many people. The actual keys are underlined.

A.  The first key is that you must desire to fix things with your family member(s). You will have to make the first move—through prayer and self-reflection. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to fix this?” Record your reasons below.

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B.  If you truly want to reconcile, the next two keys are: forgiveness is essential, and accusations (blame) must stop. Determine in your heart now if you can do these two things. What role does forgiveness play here? What about blame?

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C.  Be willing to meet them half-way. In so doing, you are accepting that part of the problem could be you. Why is this step important?

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D.  Move forward with caution, respect, kindness, and love. Simple kindness may be the most effective key you use. Remember that love never fails—and it will not fail you or fail them. Which of these four words can you see yourself using? __________________________________________________________________

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E.  Everybody has a perspective and it could be different than yours. Everyone is important to God and is one of His offspring. Every person is worthy of mercy and grace, since Jesus died for all of us. Why must we extend mercy and grace to those who don’t deserve it?

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These simple steps are not a fix-all by any means, but what if God restores a relationship that has been broken for half a lifetime? Believe now that “He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think!” (Ephesians 3:20)

Please understand that the good ideas and simple keys above are presented as possible solutions for typical and ordinary misunderstandings and behaviors in families. They are not offered as a solution for every offense, especially in the case of harmful actions like sexual abuse. Reconciliation may not be possible in some cases, and those kinds of offenses need and deserve professional counseling.

I have covered many thoughts and ideas to help you deal with your family matters. I pray in the coming days that the Holy Spirit will speak to your heart which ones can help you find healing, health, and wholeness in everything family!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that my childhood memories are certainly not like a fairytale. In fact, there are some issues with my kinfolks that I would like to reconcile. I have no idea how it will be received, but thank you for bringing me to this point of acknowledgement. Oh God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot fix, the courage to fix the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.1 Please help me to honor You in whatever I do with this new insight. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

1 The Serenity Prayer, modified by author

Bible Study Guide ~ There is Life After Tragedy

STUDY GUIDE FOR CHAPTER 3 ~ THE HISTORY

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A note from the author: The lesson for Chapter 3 may seem a bit off-target since it focuses on things that happened long ago—better known as history. You may ask, why do I care? Or why should I care? But you will soon discover that our history is very much a part of who we are today. So, dive in and see where God takes you! ~Sarah Jane

1.  History Matters to Us

In my book, There Is Life after Tragedy, I described history like this: “I like to think of history as looking in a rearview mirror. You’re not going that way, but it does give you a small glimpse of where you’ve been.” History matters to us—or at least it should. Yet, I know there are many who would rather not know their family history just because it feels tainted or spoiled, and you’re thinking why not just leave that stone unturned. That may well be an accurate description, but it also may not be. The truth is that you will never know for certain unless you try to unpack your own history. Only you can make that decision.  

Just in case you think you might like to take a peek at what’s out there about your family, there are some things you may want to consider. It is sad but true that many of us seem not to care about our history until it is too late. Oft times family members leave us way to early, and we are left with a thousand questions we intended to ask them someday. I’ve seen it happen many times. So, take my advice—since it’s free—and get your courage up and ask them now. In this lesson, I will give you some ideas on how to go about it, some dos and don’ts, and as always, some valuable treasures to look for in the process.

Do you have one or more older family members whose life or memory is slipping away? ________ If so, list them below:

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2.  History Matters to God

One good reason for gathering our history is because history matters to God. You may ask why does it matter to Him, and how do I know that it does? As usual, the best resource we have about our God and His ways are His written Word. We’re going to start by looking at the Index in our Bible. As I point out various things about the Old and New Testaments, look down the list of books and locate what I have mentioned.

At the beginning of the Bible, we encounter the first five books that are accredited to Moses as the author. While some theologians question the bases of this accreditation, it has never been proven one way or the other. One commentary said that Moses was more of a recorder than an author; but regardless, God told someone in His family to write down what happened in the beginning. And aren’t we glad He did?

Many books in the Old Testament are named after the author, such as Joshua, Samuel, Nehemiah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Habakkuk. The point is that someone close up and personal to these stories had an inner leading to write down the events.

The New Testament books were mostly named after the authors as well, except for some that were named after the recipients of the letters written to them. For example, Romans, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, and Philippians are what the people were called who lived in the cities of Rome, Corinth, Galatia, Ephesus, and Philippi. Lastly, we are so incredibly blessed to have four authors recording the life of Jesus—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. WOW! Different authors, different viewpoints, and different reasons for writing—all things that matter to us as readers.

Several books of the Bible are categorized as prophecy—something to be unveiled at a later time. For instance, in Daniel 12:4 NLT we read these words: “But you, Daniel, keep this prophecy a secret; seal up the book until the time of the end, when many will rush here and there, and knowledge will increase.” Because much of Daniel’s book applies to the times you and I are living in, we can know what was on God’s heart thousands of years ago about us and our day.

In the Book of Revelation, we find an interesting fact about how the person assigned to record something carried out his assignment.

Revelation 1:1-2 NLT “This is a Revelation from Jesus Christ, which God gave him concerning the events that will happen soon. An angel was sent to God’s servant John so that John could share the revelation with God’s other servants. John faithfully reported the word of God and the testimony of Jesus Christ—everything he saw.”

Did you notice the part that basically said, “so that John could share it with others?” God has His servants write things down so His other servants—and that would be us—can read them, too! Clearly, history matters to God.

3.  Make Yourself a Plan

A.  If you want to capture your family’s history, developing a plan would be a wise place to start. Ask yourself what you want to know, why you want to know it, and who might be the best person to ask about it. Be aware that much of your ancestry data may have already been gathered by another family member simply because websites like Ancestory.com have made it easier to do. So, ask questions before you start. You can tap into their findings if you sign up for the same app they used, but the monthly fee eventually gets expensive.

Do you know if a family member has already gathered data on a site like Ancestory.com? _______ If not, who might know?

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B.  Dos and Don’ts: Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you build your plan. When you determine who you would like to interview about your family’s story, pray about it first, and then ask God to give you wisdom and courage to move forward. As you attempt to unpack the story, always be kind, sensitive, and thoughtful because these memories could bring pain to that person. Since I already knew to be careful in gathering information about my family’s tragedy, I continually watched for signs that I was going too far, stepping over the line, or asking pointed questions. I mostly let it flow naturally, and did it ever flow!

C.  One of the questions my cousins had for me was: “What are you going to do with this information?” I was upfront and honest. I told them I planned to post it on my blog and perhaps publish a book. Throughout the process, I kept my cousins informed at every stage of writing, proofreading and publishing. They were allowed to make changes or clarify things I had written. In short, we walked through it together.

4.  Finding Treasures in the Process

One of my fondest memories was an interview with my great aunt, Ruth Bode, two days before her 100th birthday. Ruth was a sister-in-law to my grandfather (who was killed in the tragedy), and she was the last living person of their generation. You will read about this interview in Chapter 5. It holds a special place in my heart as a priceless treasure gleaned from the process of gathering information.

Although this entire chapter is historical, it still made a huge mark on my life. The quote by Priscilla Shirer at the end of Chapter 3 (page 24), spells out our responsibility to the younger generation: “The patterns you set will form a pathway that others will walk.”

To get an idea how someone might feel about being interviewed, let’s fast forward several years and think about the fact that you are now the person sitting in a rocking chair with a throw draped across your lap. Then a young whipper-snapper niece or nephew comes up to you, pulls up a chair, and wants to pick your brain about the past. How would you handle that?

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Do you feel certain things deserve to remain private?

Yes or No ______________

Why do you feel that way?

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Do you think the younger generations have a right to know what you know? ___________ Why or why not?

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These kinds of encounters can turn out good or not-so-good. However, they can also yield treasures that we didn’t know were there. If we use wisdom, we might develop a new relationship with a family member we never dreamed possible. Who knows, they might even change our mind about some mis-information we were told years ago. Whatever we do, we should work towards a positive outcome for everyone involved. And that will honor God.

The best advice I have to give is to use discretion and a great deal of respect for those you want to interview. In reality, they are not obligated to tell you what they know; therefore, be grateful for their willingness to share anything at all. Otherwise, you may come away from the interview with a blank piece of paper. Just saying.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I am grateful for those you spoke to thousands of years ago to record their stories so that my generation can read and learn from them. Help me capture my own family’s history, if it hasn’t already been done, so I can pass it down to my children and grandchildren. I want to always be sensitive to your leading and have the courage to talk to family members. I desire to honor you in how I do this. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.